The Donegal Express

The calling of the Rosary
Spanish wine from far away
I’m a free born man of the USA

Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, United States

I am the most wanted man on my island; but I'm not on my island. More's the pity.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Bring out yer dead! *Bong*

--The Dead Collector

Dead voted in governor's race -- King County investigating 'ghost voter' cases.

Dead people voted in King County, and there were more votes cast than registered voters.

Wait for it...

"These are not indications of fraud," said Bill Huennekens, King County's elections supervisor. "Fraud is a concerted effort to change an election."

And people voting who aren't supposed to be voting, or who vote using dead people's names, exactly what are they trying to do? Not change an election? I get it, they alternated! "This fake vote for the Republican, and this one for the Democrat." That's how it worked, right? I mean fake votes can't be an indication of fraud, right Bill?

This reminds me of that scene in Stalag 17, when the one prisoner of war gets a letter from his wife. Inside she tell him basically, "You won't believe this, but I found the most darling baby! And you won't believe it, but it has exactly my eyes and nose." And the guy's sitting there, in deep denial. "Why does she keep saying I won't believe it. I believe it......I believe it."

There's no indication of voter fraud. I believe it....I believe it.

The story contains a few quotes by people who voted for their dead wives/husbands. You know, I could see it, although I honestly can't imagine my last wish being, "Cast my ballot!" I think it would be more like, "Make sure I have clean underwear for the funeral." And the guy that gets the biggest play is the one says his wife wanted him to vote the /Republican/ ticket for her. Nice implications.

And there's this air of, "I knew it was wrong, but I was willing to do this out of a sense of love, regardless of the consequences."

Ok, cool. I respect that. Now get fined. And please, I'm not being cold. Each case like that should get hit with the minimum amount of monetary damages. If they would gladly face the consequences, give 'em some. It makes for a more romantic story.

And did anyone else enjoy all the "found" ballots coming out of King County? I wish I had some extra time, I would have set up a pool. I could have made a ton! How many ballots will be "found" on which days?

That was so predictable, it reminded me of an exchange from that chick baseball movie, the one with Tom Hanks.

"What if at a key moment in the game my, my uniform bursts open and, uh, oops., my bosoms come flying out? That, that might draw a crowd, right? "

"What if at a key moment in the election, we open a closet door and, uh, oops., a thousand ballots come flying out? That could tip an election, right?"

Honestly, there was no fraud, just astoundingly bad management and oversight. Gotcha. So Bill Huennekens is going to be recalled or dismissed right? I mean, his people were just throwing hundreds of Democrat ballots into closets and drawers to get out of counting them. Every third day we heard, "Sorry, another mistake. Here's ten trillion more votes we found." They're going to break him off Donald Trump style, with the cobra-flick and everything, right?

I believe it....I believe it.


Blogger TrekMedic251 said...

Dude, that is one of the funniest parts of that movie; which, BTW is one of my favorites!

6:19 PM  

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