"I am with you, Puppet Master!"

-- Andre Toulon

Economic talk bores me, like most people. At the same time, who can resist some whacky protest action?

Deroy Murdock's latest article at National Review Online looks at both. There's nothing in the world to spice up a stockholders meeting, in my opinion, like your basic environmentalist craziness. Apparently, the next skirmish will be held at the ExxonMobil stockholders meeting in Dallas.

The swarms of left-wingers will congregate at the Radical Encuentro Camp. As you can tell, these people identify with the poor and oppressed, since one of the words is in Spanish. An action packed, fun-filled extravaganza is in the offing. Browsing through the event schedule brings up the following sampling:


"Climbing" -- Sponsored by the Ruckus Society.

This isn't a matter of getting some excercise to a group that is in dire need of sunlight and fresh air. Far from it. The type of climbing to be taught is of the variety necessary to scale structures to plant large banners, scramble over fences onto private property, and other barrier evasion techniques. Consider it a course in "trespassing facilitation".

Think fast. When you hear "The Ruckus Society", do you think of an organization that should be under investigation by a.) The FBI or b.) Sherlock Holmes? However much they want to identify as identifying with the oppressed and disenfranchised, they sound like a bunch of Victorian noncomformists who take delight in reading saucy Oscar Wilde novels. They need to translate one of the words of their name into Spanish. I'm thinking, "El Sociedad de Ruckus".

"Exposing Corporate Greed" -- by David Cobb

Apparently, David is going to reveal that corporations exist to make as much money as possible for their shareholders. After that, he'll reveal that politicians want to get re-elected, commercials are produced to get people to buy things, and many sophomore males take women's studies courses to meet chicks. Parents may wish to remove their children before David reveals what bears are up to in the woods.

I can imagine David ending his presentation with "Didn't Michael Douglas teach us anything in 'Wall Street', people?"


"Women and the Zapatista Struggle" -- by Melissa, of the Monkeywrench Collective

These model T enthusiasts suffer the same problem as their ruckus loving counterparts. Colectivo Monkeywrench, at first blush, would appear to have nothing whatsoever with oil companies, corporate greed, or environmental concerns. So why the course on "Women and the Zapatista Struggle"? If I learned anything in college, it's this. The left will always include speakers on topics that are in no way related to the main thrust of the protest. This is a show of "solidarity". Like a kid doing his algebra homework, I flipped to the answer section. The radicalencuentro.org website states:

"Folks from various Tejas cities have built on the foundations of previous camps organized by REC (the Radical Education Community). Our main medium is a "camp" that includes workshops and activities which explore skills for activists and organizers to take back to their communities. A fundamental part of our work is to confront oppression and racism within "the movements" as we build both statewide and broader solidarity struggles."

Please note that this is a "solidarity" struggle, not a "Solidarity" struggle. "Solidarity" was a movement of simple Polish workers, doing their best to resist the tyrrany of communism. This "solidarity" is formed by a group of pretentious post-college students seeking to implement a lot of what those Polish workers were opposing.

Rule of thumb: "Solidarity" -- simple workers risking much to oppose communist tyrrany. "solidarity" self-involved young people who chant on cue, many of whom do so out of a fear of not having the most fashionable of worldviews.


"The People vs. ExxonMobil" -- a mock trial

You have to give credit for truth in advertising. I'm certain it will be a mock trial, with mock evidence and a mock impartial verdict.

"Festival of Resistance" -- Puppets and Banners and Drums. (Oh my!)

This ought to grab those greedy corporate types' attention. We're serious, we've brought puppets!

Puppets? What in God's name is this all about? If corporations were such corrupt and powerful entities, you'd think they'd be able to make a covert strike or something to knock out the puppet-making workshops. Could you imagine the conversation the head of the covert strike team would be having with his handlers?

"Well sir, we were able to confiscate and destroy massive volumes of banners and drums, but the underground puppet factories have thus far eluded us."

Puppets. At least we now know what happens to socially conscious Theatre Arts majors after graduation.

I bet the festival doesn't have one good dunking booth, either.

If corporations were such soulless, greedy forces of destruction, how can you explain guys like Robert A. G. Monks, a shareholder much in line with the green aspirations of those who'll be camping out? Stating that embracing a more environmentalist tone in conducting operations will rise stock prices, he and those like him commissioned a report by Claros Consulting, a firm specializing in "Socially Responsible Investing".

The head of Claros, Mark Mansley, recommends support of carbon taxes. In the report, he notes the increased costs would not cause too much of an effect on the corporate bottom line, since "the oil and gas industry is able to pass much of the cost of taxes or permits onto consumers"

That's awfully white of him. So much for the progressive left looking out for us little people; no matter how they fashion it, we're the ones to pay the bill.

Five bucks says David Cobb doesn't mention this while "exposing corporate greed".