The Donegal Express

2005-02-23T17:37:00.000-07:00

The Parting Glass

Of all the money that ere I had, I spent it in good company.
And of all the harm that ere I've done, alas was done to none but me.
And all I've done for want of wit, to memory now I cannot recall.
So fill me to the parting glass. Goodnight and joy be with you all.

Of all the comrades that ere I had, they're sorry for my going away,
And of all the sweethearts that ere I had , they wish me one more day to stay,
But since it falls unto my lot that I should rise while you should not,
I will gently rise and I'll softly call, "Goodnight and joy be with you all!"

The Donegal Express has moved to http://www.donegalexpress.net/

2005-02-22T12:38:00.000-07:00

the frost is off the ground, and moving day is at hand

--Auntie Shrew

The site hasn't been updated recently, because I am in the process of moving "The Donegal Express" to its very own site. It'll be with Wordpress to boot!

Please stay tuned for the new site announcement. I'll make that once all the old posts are properly archived over there, and all my little bells and whistles are set.

2005-02-18T17:14:00.000-07:00

Our recent unknown intruder penetrated using the superuser account, giving him access to our whole system.

--The Plague

I saw this on Veritas' Backup Exec support site. After staring at the screen, stupefied by what I was reading; then I just started to laugh. Let me pull up the relative sections. I'm sure there are going to be like, eighteen people tops who will ever read this and find it funny.

3. How to tell what version of the Backup Exec UNIX agent is installed?

Either:

a. Start the UNIX Agent up at the command line by typing ./agent.be &. This will start another instance of the UNIX agent and display the version number when the agent starts.

b. Reboot the UNIX computer. When the computer comes back up, the version of the agent will be displayed on the screen.

Reboot the UNIX computer?

Yeah, that's what you want to do. Just go into a closet and start flipping switches.

# sync;sync;reboot -y

Feel the rush!

"Why the hell is our server down?"

"Uh, I was just checking which version of the Backup Exec Client we had on it."

8. What rights are necessary to install the UNIX agent?

The operator must be logged in as root.

See #14

10. Are Differential and Incremental backup jobs possible?

Differential and Incremental backups are not allowed. Only the Normal, Copy, and Daily backup methods are allowed. Differential and Incremental backup jobs rely on an archive bit, which a UNIX computer does not have.

You can't do an incremental backup? Wow! That's not a good thing to admit. Get on that, Veritas.

11. What is UNIX?

UNIX is a multi-user operating system with built-in networking capabilities.

If you're going to do a "What is UNIX" FAQ, shouldn't you make "What is UNIX?" #1? I'm just sayin'...

12. How can UNIX support multiple users?

UNIX can take multiple terminals hooked up to its serial ports.

UNIX can have users logging in from the network (telnet or rlogin).

UNIX can act as a file server (NFS).

UNIX can act as an application server.

Actually, no on that third one. An NFS server doesn't really support multiple users, it just allows parts of a filesystem to be shared by multiple systems. It really doesn't do much, except allow users to see files from other servers.

13. Is there just one type of UNIX?

No, there are three major types: System V (Five), System IV (4), and BSD. System V is the most popular. AIX is a combination of the two. Each vendor adds support for more commands and changes switches sometimes. For example, SCO and Solaris are both based on System V whilst HP-UX is based on System IV but most commands are the same in principle.

System IV? What the hell is System IV? I own so many O'Reilly books, my kids no longer go to the zoo. I don't think one of them mention System IV.

So I went looking for backup:

If you have your System III or PWB documentation handy, you might look at the title page. You'll find Ted Dolotta's name prominently displayed.

Ted was at Princeton, Bell Labs, and INTERACTIVE Systems in the '70s and '80s, and he just retired from Softbank, where he was vice president.

Hi, Peter,

I noted your query in ;login: regarding System IV UNIX at Bell Labs.

As best I remember, there was indeed a System IV, but it was never offered for licensing via Western Electric. I no longer recall the exact reason why, but I think that it was not a major step beyond System III.

Good job, Veritas!

14. Is there an administrator account in UNIX?

Yes, it is called root or superuser. The login ID is always root. Although it is technically possible, it is rare to see users equivalent to root setup in security. Usually, a small group of users who needs it shares the root account.

15. What is "root"?

Root has the rights to all files and directories. It can start, stop, or change anything it wishes. It is (usually) the only user who modifies the operating system or installs new software (like the Backup Exec UNIX agent). Many system level utilities require root privileges to work.

Shouldn't this one have gone somewhere near #8? Conversely, doesn't #14 answer this?

16. Is UNIX space sensitive?

Yes. For example, typing cd/ is not the same thing as cd /.

There are people who actually wonder this?

17. Is UNIX GUI-based?

No, most versions of UNIX are text-based. A user can usually buy an add-on for GUI support. The GUI add-on is referred to as X Windows.

Someone has actually bought a UNIX GUI package since 1979? For what, SCO? XENIX? I've worked with UNIX systems since 1995. I think I saw one version of UNIX that didn't ship with a GUI, and that was a LINUX box that just needed one downloaded.

19. How are users created?

This is normally done through vendor supplied utilities, which are often menu driven. In SCO, there is a program called scoadmin. However, it can be done through the useradd command. For example, useradd steve will create an account called steve and give it a login ID. There are more switches to specify to create home directories, default shells, group membership, and so on. Some UNIX administrators prefer to edit the /etc/passwd file directly.

Change that to "Any UNIX admin with a shred of personal dignity prefers..."

30. How can the UNIX agent be manually stopped?

a. Type ps -df | grep agent (this gets a listing of the processes that have the word "agent" in them).

ps -df? Someone uses the -d argument? When and where? -df? What, did they want to be special, and not say ps -ef like everyone else in the world?

Note to Veritas. I can do documentation on the side for cheap. Feel free to contact me.

2005-02-18T09:58:00.000-07:00

Liberals Don't Upset Me

LEFTISTS, On The Other Hand...

What can I say? Forsake The Troops

Here's the deal, I'm not going to say anything directly about this site. Seriously, why should I? Can't you all just fill in the frikkin' blanks on this one?

But what I'm going to say is this: I believe there is a dividing line between "liberals" and leftists.

A liberal might support..National Health Care. He might support withdrawing from Iraq, and have opposed going in in the first place. I'm personally none to thrilled with being there myself, but not for the classic liberal reasons. It's the leftist that throw stones at those who serve our country.

Dick Gephardt is a liberal; he wouldn't be down with this site.
I doubt Ken Salazar, or Joe Biden or even Bill Clinton would be down. I know what Clinton was doing in the Sixties, but I honestly believe everything he's ever done has been to either get votes or get chicks. And even Kucinich, the one with the Dept. Of Peace, even he I don't think would subscribe to this site. He seems more of the dopey-go-lucky version of a hippie, not the throw blood on servicemen type.

Hillary would be down. So would Boxer and Feinstein. Cynthia McKinney would be there too.

So this is the line; the line between liberal and leftist. Now this is the part where Joe Blogger calls on his readers to flood the site and give them what for.

I'm not going to do that.

I don't care if my devoted reader is upset. I'd have a stroke if the folks who think like me don't have conniption fits. I want the liberals who stop by to let me know they're not leftists. I want the folks who blog and would vote for Kerry to say, "Hey..this is just sickening. These people are whackjobs and wrong, and I don't want to be associated with them." I don't think that's much to ask.

That is all.

2005-02-17T18:10:00.000-07:00

I love London - it's so wonderfully dirty.

--Palendri

Hat tip to Pennsylvanian-in-exile.

Kyoto protest beaten back by inflamed petrol traders By Laura Peek and Liz Chong
First off, this is like..England's version of National Lampoon, right? This /can't/ be real, can it? I mean, do the Brits even realize what loons they sound like? I thought they stopped making hats that way.

WHEN 35 Greenpeace protesters stormed the International Petroleum Exchange (IPE) yesterday they had planned the operation in great detail. What they were not prepared for was the post-prandial aggression of oil traders who kicked and punched them back on to the pavement.

Never ever mess with London Oil traders after they've just come back from the Pub. Unless you grew up in someplace like Belfast or Philadelphia. Then you can probably go a few rounds. Obviously these Greenpeace guys grew up in the suburbs.

They made their way to the trading floor, blowing whistles and sounding fog horns, encountering little resistance from security guards. Rape alarms were tied to helium balloons to float to the ceiling and create noise out of reach. The IPE conducts ?open outcry? trading where deals are shouted across the pit. By making so much noise, the protesters hoped to paralyse trading.
?We bit off more than we could chew. They were just Cockney barrow boy spivs. Total thugs,? one protester said, rubbing his bruised skull. ?I?ve never seen anyone less amenable to listening to our point of view.?

Listening to your point of view? BWAHAHAHAHAHA. No wait, stop, please. "Listening to his point of view". Classic! I can't believe he said that with a straight face. These dudes break into a building, rush a floor with bells and whistles and horns, and intend to cause chaos and disruption. When the folks they intend to disrupt don't roll over, they whine about a free discourse? What in the hell kind of free discourse has you firing off an air horn in someone else's face?

You guys came running in, with your Nazi putsch tactics, and the other guys were thugs? Do you even realize how wrong and inappropriate what you were trying to do was?

I guess they should change their motto, "Greenpeace: When we can't bully others, we cry like little girls."

Another said: ?I took on a Texan Swat team at Esso last year and they were angels compared with this lot.? Behind him, on the balcony of the pub opposite the IPE, a bleary-eyed trader, pint in hand, yelled: ?Sod off, Swampy.?

Dude should have gotten up and started pounding on that hippie again. And the Texas SWAT team should be ashamed. I'm going to look those guys up, we really need to hear what that SWAT team has to say in their defense. Negative one for you, Texas.

I think "Sod off, Swampy." will be my phrase for the next month.

Protesters conceded that mounting the operation after lunch may not have been the best plan. ?The violence was instant,? Jon Beresford, 39, an electrical engineer from Nottingham, said.

And enjoyable. By the way Jon, I wouldn't go traipsing through Sherwood Forest either. You'll see some real instant violence there.

?They grabbed us and started kicking and punching. Then when we were on the floor they tried to push huge filing cabinets on top of us to crush us.?

They tried to push filing cabinets on them? That's strong!

But they were set upon by traders, most of whom were under the age of 25. ?They were kicking and punching men and women indiscriminately,? a photographer said. ?It was really ugly, but Greenpeace did not fight back.?

Of course not. I doubt if any of them even know how to throw a punch.

2005-02-17T12:24:00.000-07:00

What happen? Someone set up us the bomb!

--Zero Wing

For some reason, I was the one guy on blogger who couldn't post after they added the new comment system. It was fixed today, so that's good. Anyhow, I hope all my devoted reader wasn't too put out with the unexpected absence.

2005-02-14T09:22:00.000-07:00

Help also Mrs. Anna to keep awake for scientific sewing of dresses, even though she be only a woman and a Christian and therefore unworthy of your interest!

--The King of Siam

Let's take a spin around the web, whee...

First up is Doxology. Now before I get to the actual post, I'd just like to take a minute to say something. I'm really impressed with Rebecca. Either she's receiving excellent catechesis (It could happen!) or she's been blessed with an extraordinary sensus fidei. But I guess she'd have to have that. After all, it's not like the Catholic Church does more than pay lip service to the concept of drawing non-Catholics to the Faith in North America. I guess she'd have to be pretty hardcore to begin with, to go to all the bother of converting.

A good post over at The Anchoress today, where she discusses a parish that has decided to pursue intense inter-faith dialogues during Lent, as part of their Lenten practice.

She then goes on, and asks her readers if they think this is a good thing to be doing for Lent. Rebecca answers "no", proving yet again her head is firmly on straight.

Intrigued, I headed over to The Anchoress' site. I was in for a treat.

The laity at this Catholic parish has decided that their "doing" will be a doozy. :-)

"This year, we want people to think about making peace during Lent," said the Rev. Randy Phillips, pastor of the nearly 10,000-member church at 12151 Fifteen Mile Road. "To help us think about this, we're bringing people together from different religious traditions to talk about our common hopes for peace.

A doozy, now there's an understatement. It's nice to see that The Anchoress also has a slight bit of suspicion whenever this whole "ecumenical fad" rears its head. Way to go, Anchoress.

Now, let's just break this down a little further.

A. This not only distracts from the purpose of Lent, it can form a tendency to the sin of pride.

"This year, we want people to think about making peace during Lent,"

With all due respect, Father, can we please get people to think about...oh..I dunno...prayer, penance, and fasting during Lent? I mean, seriously now, can we please have forty days out of the year for this? You get Sundays off, for cryin' out loud! Secondly, let's look at how this "reflection" can so easily be twisted. The following is an example:

I'm Jane Average Catholic. Father's told me we need to think about "making peace" while talking with some Protestants, Jewish people, and whoever else shows up at this workshop. Ok, let me review my notes.

Hmm, making peace. Well, how do I act? I'm not in the military, and I don't shoot people or blow them up. I don't even throw rocks when I'm angry. I don't support any violent groups or things. And I believe everyone should be happy and peaceful. Heck, I don't even get mad when my barrista uses two-percent milk instead of skim milk in my mocha latte grande. I've got a handle on this!

But wait, I'll sound like I'm so full of myself if I just say that! I need to come up with something...

Nine times out of ten, what they come up with is the list of things the Church gets beat over the head with.

The Crusades
The Inquisition
Galileo
The Pope helping the Holocaust.

Because you know what, that's how it always goes down. Someone throws out some charge against the Church, real or imagined, and then all the Catholics hang their heads for a sec, before fiercely affirming:

Well, that's the Old Church. We're not like that! We're better than that. Don't blame me! But, well, we're sorry.

Thanks. Some days I get disgusted that I'm on the same team as some of you people.

As a person with some Irish blood, I've been waiting (quite patiently I may add) for someone to apologize for Oliver Cromwell and The Penal Laws. Does anyone out there know what a "Mass Rock" or a "Hedge School" is? But please, babble on about what you think you know about the Crusades. That'll work.

So, what are we left with here? We're left with a "Lent" where the faithful learn: The Church did awful things long before they were born. They need to constantly make amends for this by totally debasing their religion, in order to please others. On the plus side, none of them are guilty, in the strict, technical sense, of "sin".

Nice.

There is a group within the Catholic Church (mostly comprised of mid-level diocese bureaucrats) that are actively trying to destroy the Church. Now most of them, to be fair, probably believe they're creating a better church. They believe they've got some sort of insight, and can create some sort of uberthing that will just knock the socks off that retrograde Catholicism. You know, the one with the prayers and the incense and the Latin and whatnot. I mean, that's so 1962, right? The rest of them just want to destroy. They get off on it. These folks spend their days hatching up programs to slowly but surely destroy the Catholic Faith and replace it with something of their own devising.

Now this one thing, this "dialog for peace" thing, this is right out of their playbook. I've met the people that come up with these sorts of things. I've talked with them. To be more exact ,I've listened to them gloat over their plans. "We will have women priests in fifteen years". One DRE informed me, when I applied to teach CCD. "And you had better get used to that idea. You and your Pope. The Church is heading into a new era. There's nothing you can do about it."

Oh really? Game on then.

2005-02-12T00:35:00.000-07:00

SPLASH ONE BOGIE!

Put another notch in the gunbelt of the blogosphere.

Owned

New York (AP)- CNN chief news executive Eason Jordan quit Friday amid a furor over remarks he made in Switzerland last month about journalists killed by the U.S. military in Iraq. Jordan said he was quitting to avoid CNN being "unfairly tarnished" by the controversy.

This is to differentiate from the time it was "fairly tarnished" when Eason admitted the Baghdad Office lied about what was happening in Iraq. This time, the lies uttered were all his.

"I never meant to imply U.S. forces acted with ill intent when U.S. forces accidentally killed journalists, and I apologize to anyone who thought I said or believed otherwise," Jordan said in a memo to fellow staff members at CNN.

Translation: This was all supposed to be off the record!

After several management restructurings at CNN, Jordan actually had no current operational responsibility over network programming. But he was CNN's chief fix-it man overseas, arranging coverage in dangerous or hard-to-reach parts of the world.

He was really good at it, too. He'd just promise whatever rapists and thugs he had to deal with the "Saddam Plus Gold Deluxe" package.

CNN's global newsgathering infrastructure is chiefly the result of Jordan's work, said Jim Walton, chief of the CNN News Group.

Question of the Day: Is this praise, or blame? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Brought to you by The Donegal Express. Without it: a thousand years of darkness.

2005-02-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

See that sign up here - up here. "Defcon." That indicates our current defense condition. It should read "Defcon 5," which means peace. It's still on 4 because of that little stunt you pulled.

--McKittrick

East Asia-Intel.com is reporting a Chinese helicopter fired upon, and sank, an Indian submarine. I've yet to find anyone else confirming this. I also don't subscribe, so I am not seeing the full story.

This /can't/ be good.

2005-02-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

MORE BLOOD FOR OIL!

Rick Mercier, an editor at the Free Lance-Star wrote this up about the genocide in Sudan:

But you can bet that a resolution with any teeth to it will meet firm resistance in the council — much of it from veto-wielding permanent members Russia and China. France may also play an obstructionist role.

As this sorry spectacle unfolds in the coming days and weeks, it will be useful to remind ourselves that these three countries not only are blocking meaningful action against the Sudanese government, they’ve actually aided and abetted Khartoum in its cleansing of certain ethnic groups from Darfur.

Here’s how:

—China: The Chinese have been Sudan’s principal arms supplier over the past decade, furnishing Khartoum with copious amounts of tanks, fighter jets, helicopters, machine guns and rocket-propelled grenades.

China also is heavily invested in Sudan’s oil industry, and depends on the country’s oil fields to supply the Chinese industrial dragon with a sizeable portion of the energy it needs to keep growing. Needless to say, Sudan’s weapons purchases are funded largely by the revenues generated by this oil extraction.

—Russia: According to a report issued in November by Amnesty International, the Sudanese government imported four MiG fighter jets from Russia in December 2003 and January 2004. Khartoum was expected to have imported 12 new Russian MiGs by the end of last year. This purchase coincided with the use of MiGs against civilians in Darfur.

When I met with refugees from Darfur in September, a number of them told me that their villages had been attacked by MiGs in late 2003 and early last year. Human-rights groups also have cited the use of MiGs in raids on Darfur villages.

The Russians also have ties to Sudan’s oil industry. Last summer, as the crisis in Darfur was continuing to worsen, a Russian company inked a deal to build an oil pipeline in Sudan.

—France: The Amnesty report found that the French have sold large quantities of bombs, grenades, ammunition and other military items to Sudan in recent years. The French corporation Total holds the rights to an oil concession in southern Sudan.

The United States must confront these forces of complicity and greed by pushing hard for a tough resolution on Darfur.

Well, smack my mouth and call me Sally! Who would have thought the French would be giving weapons to blood-soaked dictators in exchange for oil? I mean, I never heard of such a thing. Say it ain't so, France! We all look up to you, paragon of moral virtue that you are. I mean, you wouldn't use your influence in the UN to protect some cozy little oil deal with the scum of the earth, right? I mean, your opposition to the war in Iraq, that was pure principle, right? Right?

My bad. Apparently, they're big on "blood for oil".

Whenever anything big in the world happens, look at where the usual suspects show up. Maybe we just need to realize they're not going to be rooting for the good guys.

2005-02-10T15:54:00.000-07:00

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!

--Dorothy

It must be mailbox day. Here's something else that just came in:

PETA bankrolls arsonists -- Tell the IRS it’s time for them to go!

Dear Conservative Friend,

If you were watching the State of the Union Address on the Fox News Channel last week, you also saw a provocative commercial from the Center for Consumer Freedom. It wasn’t about social security or Hillary Clinton, but it deserves your attention just the same.

The Center’s advertisement asked Americans to support a petition asking the IRS to investigate and penalize People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), an extreme animal-rights group that brazenly supports and openly funds domestic terrorists.

Click here to watch this groundbreaking commercial.

While most of our national discussion about Homeland Security has focused on threats from outside the United States, we’ve overlooked the dangerous threat of domestic terrorism. Since 1990, attacks by home-grown arsonists and bomb-throwers have caused over $150 million in damage. The FBI calls these animal-rights zealots and extreme environmentalists “the most dangerous and prolific domestic terrorists” in the United States today.

PETA, it turns out, is bankrolling some of them.

In 2001, according to publicly-available tax records, PETA contributed at least $1,500 to the North American Earth Liberation Front (ELF), a group of arsonists who engage in absolutely no lawful activities. PETA was either careless or bold enough to report this to the IRS. Eight different reporters have asked PETA’s leaders why their group wrote this check; they have offered eight different and contradictory answers.

In 1995 PETA gave over $70,000 to Rodney Coronado, a convicted arsonist who firebombed a Michigan State University research laboratory on behalf of the terrorist Animal Liberation Front (ALF). While PETA insists that the money was for Coronado’s legal defense, court records show that PETA president Ingrid Newkirk communicated with Coronado about the Michigan State arson before it happened.

Coronado never fingered PETA in court, took the fall alone, and served 58 months in federal prison. In 2003, six months after his parole expired, he was filmed in a Washington, DC college classroom showing dozens of young animal-rights activists how to build “crude incendiary devices.”

Asked later that year on 20/20 to explain herself, Ingrid Newkirk called Rodney Coronado “a fine young man.”

If PETA were financially supporting Hamas, the Islamic Jihad, or Al Qaeda, it would be laughable to argue that it’s possible to bankroll terrorists without supporting terrorism. Yet PETA continues to insist its motives were warm and fuzzy when it wrote a check to the arson-happy (and FBI-designated “terrorist”) ELF.

PETA’s habit of propping up violent splinter groups shouldn’t surprise anyone. In the 1980s, PETA was a “spokesgroup” for the terrorist ALF, holding press conferences to gleefully announce arsons, burglaries, and thefts -- all perpetrated “for the animals.” PETA once had a “fact sheet” calling the ALF “an army of the kind.” And PETA’s leaders have openly advocated arson and other violence.

Click here to listen to PETA campaign director Bruce Friedrich discussing the merits of “blowing stuff up” at a national animal rights convention.

It’s time to put a stop to PETA, and you can help. Add your name to the list of over 50,000 Americans who have already asked the IRS to revoke PETA’s federal tax-exempt status. Believe it or not, PETA pays no income taxes -- just like universities and churches. And the promise of tax deductions helped the group raise over $21 million last year, mostly from unsuspecting Americans who thought they were helping puppies and kittens.

Click here to sign the petition and “Take a bite out of PETA.”

The Center for Consumer Freedom is dedicated to protecting the choices of American consumers. Those choices are threatened on a daily basis by PETA and other animal activist groups who presume to tell us all what to eat.

PETA’s stated goal is “total animal liberation.” That means no steaks, hamburgers, chicken, veal, lamb, bacon, milk, or cheese. No milk chocolate on Valentine’s Day. No Thanksgiving turkey. No hunting, fishing, rodeos, circuses, wool, fur, silk, leather, or seeing-eye dogs; and no medical research using lab animals.

PETA’s president is on record saying that “even if animal research resulted in a cure for AIDS, we’d be against it.”

We’re pushing back against these lunatics, but we need your help. To make a one-time gift or a recurring pledge, please click here. Every little bit helps.

Sincerely,

James Bowers
Managing Director
Center for Consumer Freedom

2005-02-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

When life hands you lemons

Just got this from a friend:

The local bar was so sure its bartender was the
strongest man around that they offered a standing
$1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a
lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand
the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could
squeeze out one more drop of juice would win
the money.

Many people had tried over time, including
professional wrestlers and bodybuilders, but no
one could do it. One day a scrawny little man
came in, wearing a tie and a pair of pants
hiked up past his belly button.

He said in a squeaky annoying voice, "I'd like
to try the bet." Even the hillbilly chicks burst
into laughter.

After the laughter had died down, the
bartender said, "Ok," grabbed a lemon, and
squeezed away. He then handed the wrinkled
remains of the rind to the little man.

But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence
as the man clenched his fist around the lemon
and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd
cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and
asked the little man, "What did you do for a
living? Are you a lumberjack, weight lifter, or
what?"

The man replied, "I work for the IRS."

2005-02-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

TO ALL MY DEVOTED READER

There will be no postings on Ash Wednesday.

And yes, I made "Reader" singular on purpose.

2005-02-08T22:39:00.000-07:00

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

--The Clash

So, is Gov. Richardson going to run in '08, or is he not? We're getting conflicting stories here in Santa Fe. First, the AP is reporting the Governor will be running in 2008. Ron Fournier says he's spoken with some "party leaders", and they're telling him Richardson has disclosed his plans to run.

Now, Steve Terrell is telling us the Governor is denying he said anything of the sort.

If he does run, I have no doubt whatsoever he'd be the strongest challenge the Democrats could field. I have no idea if he'd get the nod, but he would give the Republicans heartburn if he did.

Take a look for yourself, he's already triangulating:

Someone asked Richardson about the threatened Hollywood boycott of New Mexico if the Legislature doesn't ban cockfighting. He said that he thought the move by the Humane Society was "immature." He also said he'd spoken with several producers and directors -- including Robert Redford -- who assured him that such a boycott wouldn't get off the ground as long as the state remains hospitable to filmmakers.

As for cockfighting itself, Richardson still refused to take an actual stand on the issue, saying he feels it's a "distraction" from the real issues. He put it in the same category as gay marriage as a "wedge issue."

First, he's "standing up to Hollywood". If rural, 'values-type' voters are the new demographic craze, showing yourself unwilling to be bullied by the "Susan Sarandon types" is a big positive. Secondly, he's showing he can get the job done. Now dealing with Robert Redford is not the same as dealing with the French or the UN...then again, maybe it is.

Then notice how he doesn't go one way or the other on cockfighting. Personally, I couldn't care either way. It's a battle between the Hollywood elite and folks who like to strap razors to chickens. I don't really feel comfortable siding with either group, so I guess I have no cock in this fight. You have to hand it to the guy though, on the one hand, he's not encouraging a poultry blood sport. On the other hand, he's not trying to wipe out part of some traditional heritage at the behest of out-of-touch "foreigners". Well played.

Finally, this guy can at least speak the moderate language pretty well. Maybe I'm biased, I moved here from California. I lived under Grey Davis. I find myself with a Democrat governor who pledged to eliminate a tax (on food), because he felt a food tax was just plain "wrong". I know, he raised some other taxes to compensate, but when do you hear any Democrat call any tax "wrong"? He makes somewhat pleasing law and order sounds. Read the comments section on the New Mexican's blog about his running. He's obviously hated by the government employees' union.

He can at least be credible in appearing as a moderate. He can convincingly pull off a "Sister Souljah" moment. He'd have a shot in states like Colorado, Nevada, Arizona, and of course, New Mexico.

Then again, the Democrats will probably give us some retread leftist New Englander. Somebody pass them the collected works of Santayana.

2005-02-08T11:09:00.000-07:00

He helped Joshua fight the battle of Jericho, he helped Daniel get out the lion's den, he helped Gilligan get off the island.

--Rev. Brown

I was reading Fructus Ventris earlier today, when I noticed something interesting.

Over at Open Book, I read a comment that basically opined that the song "My Way" was the most anti-Christian song of the last several decades. I am inclined to agree.

I disagree. This whole thing brought back a high school flashback. The most anti-Christian song of the last few decades is Whitney Houston's "The Greatest Love of All".

I went to a "Catholic high school". I place that in quotes because although there were religious brothers, I don't believe I actually learned one Catholic thing at the school. Actually, I take that back. I learned about the lamest, most insignificant form of "white martyrdom" you can imagine.

One of my "religious studies" classes was taught by Ms. X-Nun. Before we get to Whitney Houston, I'm going to try to remember what we were "taught" in this class:

The highest rule is one's conscious.

Playing basketball can be considered "holy".

A "totem" is a an aboriginal depiction of a trait or quality prized by a tribe to the extent where it is paid homage. Said quality or trait is then embodied in a physical/spiritual form, usually an animal, which is believed to represent the aforementioned quality or trait. (Gee, do you think she drilled that one in much?). Any attempt to correlate a "totem" with a "totem pole" was met with a stern rebuke. Please God she would have defended the Catholic Faith nearly as strongly.

We don't roll like that in South Philly.

Let me share the three things I remember most vividly from my Catechism in a Catholic primary school (1st-6th Grade).

There are three fingers on each hand of a priest that are consecrated when he is ordained. When the Communists capture a priest, they cut those fingers off. In that way, they hope to deny the Mass to the world, and bring about Hell on earth.

The Story of St. Tarcisius. (EWTN tells it better than I could).

Once upon a time, the Protestants came and tried to blow up our parish with a cannon. When they found out this one church was armed and waiting, they didn't seem so eager to burn it to the ground. It wasn't until they lied and got us to disarm, that they found their courage. Moral of the story? Love our 'separated brethren' but always keep a musket handy.

And now I'm told, "playing basketball can be holy."

Really? Well, we don't play basketball in my neighborhood.

Anyways... so when I went to my religious studies class with a slightly different than normal ear for the subtleties of Catholic Theology. That's why I noticed this one class. At the beginning of the class, Ms. X-Nun strolls in with a tape recorder. When the class quieted down, she played "Greatest Love of All".

The greatest love of all

Is easy to achieve

Learning to love yourself

It is the greatest love of all

So the bells went off in my head. Not the tinkling little bells that ring for the Consecration. The big church bells that ring when the village is on fire, that's what I was hearing. I opened my Bible (We had to buy one for class. We never used it, but we had to buy it), and waited for the song to end. Then Ms. X-Nun starts, "I find this song very moving and spiritual. It touches on many deep meanings. Who would care to share an opinion?"

So I raise my hand. When she called on me, I read:

Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends, if you do the things that I command you. I will not now call you servants: for the servant knoweth not what his lord doth. But I have called you friends: because all things whatsoever I have heard of my Father, I have made known to you. (Matthew 15:13-15)

Then I asked, "Is it your opinion that in matters of the salvation of my eternal soul that I should trust in (opening my left palm) Whitney Houston, or (opening my right palm) Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God?"

Principal's Office.

One week's detention.

Being a disruptive influence in class.

Of course, I saw white martyrdom. Me and St. Tarcisius, shoulder to shoulder. And for those Communists out there, never bring a knife to a musket fight.

2005-02-07T23:31:00.000-07:00

Knights of Columbus!

--Ron Burgundy

Hat tip to Catholic World News and Doxology for this one.

In 2003, Deborah Chymyshyn and Tracey Smith rented a Knights of Columbus hall in Port Coquitlam, British Columbia. When the Knights became aware that it was to be for a homosexual couple, they cancelled the booking. The BC Human Rights Tribunal began hearing their case on Monday and a ruling was expected Thursday.

I ran across a blog a bit earlier from a self-proclaimed "blue stater" living in a red state. One of the things he found offensive was the idea of a pulpit being used to tell people how to vote. On the contrary, I find it offensive to have a court attempt to usurp the authority of the pulpit in the name of some cause. The Church existed before the State, and deference should always flow towards one's elders.

The people involved in this case know what they are doing. They want to humble the Church. They want to embarrass the Knights of Columbus, force them to bend to their will. Every dark fantasy the Left dreams about "organized religion" they gleefully carry out against it in the name of their unholy cause. The people involved in this particular assault are also God's Children. I pray for them, and I hope in the mercy of Christ. While they continue on this particular path, however, there is nothing between us but emnity.

On a related note, the Knights of Columbus need your help. If you are a Catholic male over the age of eighteen, contact your local parish to find your nearest council. If you are married to a Catholic male, or in some way related to one, drag him to a parish and have him join up. If you still can't find a council, contact me or visit here. And don't even start with me about how you don't have time. I really don't want to hear that. Your Church needs you, will you forsake Her in this hour?

2005-02-06T23:17:00.000-07:00

Crux mihi certa salus.
Crux est quam semper adoro.
Crux Domini mecum.
Crux mihi refugium.

The Cross is my sure salvation.
The Cross I ever adore.
The Cross of my Lord is with me.
The Cross is my refuge.

ST. THOMAS AQUINAS

Non-Catholic readers, you may skip past this one.

Are they gone?

Ok.

As all of you should know, Lent is fast approaching. Please notice the emphasis on "fast". It's time for another Lenten season, and most of you are going to totally blow it off.

Knock it off, already! Can't you people settle down for like, six weeks and think beyond petty every day stuff? Is it so hard not to go out to eat, or hit the bars? Can you possibly squeeze in one prayer, just one, more than you usually do a day. For many of you that would bring the prayer level up to....one.

Now I can hear some of you starting to grumble. I've seen the half-hearted attempts at observing Lent. I know, it's hard. It's not very fun. It's a downer.

And I'm sure that whole "Crown of Thorns" thing was a real picnic too.

Let's put this in perspective, ok? The Prince of Peace came down to earth, and suffered a grotesque, horrific death for our sakes. That's the short form.

First, He was captured by the Temple Guards, beaten, and subjected to a kangaroo court. After the court found Him guilty, another beating was thrown upon Him. Then he was jurisdiction shopped between King Herod and Pontius Pilate. Finally, Pilate had a terrible beating placed upon Him.

They whipped Him with sticks.

They tore His Flesh with cruel devices of torture.

They beat Him until His Ribs showed.

They mocked and spit on Him, then wove a helmet of inch thick thorns which they pounded into His Skull.

Oh yeah, after that they marched Him up a hill, drove nails through His Arms and Legs into a big freaking piece of wood, and hung Him till He died.

Now here comes the good part. The worst part of all that torture and death and whatnot was the fact the He was carrying /our/ sins. The sins of all of us. Each time we screwed up, each time we didn't think, each time we didn't /care/; we weighed down His Footsteps that much more. The greatest agony He carried was our ingratitude.

So just maybe you could keep that twinkie out of your mouth until Easter Sunday. Waddya think?

At this point, I'm figuring the only people still reading are those who actually have a slight interest in making their Lent less of a joke. In that spirit, I offer the following guidelines:

1. Buy a rosary. Use it.

2. Buy a scapular. Use it.

3. Don't go out for dinner. For a few weeks, just head on home and make yourself something to eat.

4. Just have a pastry and juice for breakfast. Have an apple for lunch.

5. Lay off the nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol.

6. Eat a carrot, skip the meat.

7. Refrain from movies and TV; substitute prayer or spiritual reading instead.

The preceding was in ascending order of difficulty. Think of it as exercise, people. Don't try to jump in and do all of them at once. Unless you have iron discipline, you will fail. Start small this year, try a few of the steps above. Add to it each Lent. When you get down to it, it's not so tough. Tough is dragging a large piece of wood to your execution, all the while being kicked and beaten.

Finally, I'd like to address one final thing. Over the last few years, there has been this big emphasis on community work as a focus of Lent. Avoid this like the plague, it's a bad, bad idea.

While working at a soup kitchen or cleaning up a park is a good thing, it is not a Lent thing. Lent is about a person's personal penance and conversion. Christ himself tell us not to make a big deal to others about our personal fasting (Matthew 6:16-18). If we fast secretly, God will bless us openly. Making a point of making your Lenten observance public defeats that. Secondly, it's an encitement to pride. You shouldn't be making your observance in a way that makes people notice how "good" you are. Finally, you should be doing some of these things anyway. Catholics are called to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, etc etc all year long.

That is all.

2005-02-06T22:04:00.000-07:00

WHATEVER

(Originally Posted on The Wide Awakes):
God, I hate the Patriots

Yet, I love Guinness. I guess I can find a balance in sweet, sweet oblivion.

2005-02-06T21:57:00.000-07:00

And I Thought the Job Market Here Was Bad

(Originally posted on The Wide Awakes)

From The Telegraph (and numerous bloggers):

A 25-year-old waitress who turned down a job providing “sexual services'’ at a brothel in Berlin faces possible cuts to her unemployment benefit under laws introduced this year.

I feel like Chandler in “Friends":

Too…many…jokes…Must…mock…Germany.

Geez, I don’t even know where to start on this. Congrats, Germany. You’ve certainly earned some sort of lifetime achievement award with this one.

These are the people whose approval we seek on the international stage?

I’ll comment on this later, when I figure out if this means they’ve desceneded to the third or fifth level of Hell.

2005-02-05T15:46:00.000-07:00

They're all sittin' this one out. All except England.

--Col. Andy Tanner

Hat tip to Andrew Stuttaford at The Corner for this piece of America-loathing at The Guardian.

This was something that Europe learned the hard way: two world wars, the rise of the United States and the Soviet Union, and the anti-colonial struggle have taught our continent the limitations of its own power. That is why Europe today, with the partial exception of Britain and France, and exemplified by Germany, is so reluctant to use military force. The United States, of course, is the opposite. It measures its power not by its relative economic and technological prowess, which would suggest restraint, but its military unassailability, which implies the opposite.

Actually, I think the lesson the French learned is: The Germans aren't on the march; the coast is clear. Also notice how Europe doesn't try to measure its power at all. Smart move, Europe.

Next:

It is not difficult, of course, for the United States to throw its weight around in the Middle East, a poor and defeated region, one of the big-time losers from globalisation. The world's superpower versus a failed region is a hopelessly unequal contest, especially when the former can rely on the support of its regional policeman Israel, to do its bidding.

Yeah, that's exactly the tune you guys were singing before we went into Iraq and before we went into Afghanistan. Remember that whole bit about Afghanistan being the place where empires go to die? Then again, we're not an empire (what a bunch of smug Marxists think notwithstanding). We actually bring freedom to places. Go ask your friends in Germany and see if they have the honesty to admit it.

Then,the finale:

Indeed, there is something faintly bizarre about the psychotic worship of American values, the incantation of its applicability to each and every country, at a historical moment when, for the first time since its emergence half a millennium ago, the modern world will, in the not too distant future, no longer be monopolised by [sic]the west. It is not difficult to imagine that, by the middle of this century, both China and India will rank among the top five largest economies in the world, with China perhaps the biggest. Nor is this just an economic story, which is how it is generally told. With economic strength comes, in due course, political, cultural and military influence: such has been the case with the emergence of all great powers.

Does this mean the European Union isn't going to be the greatest thing since sliced bread?

You know what? I've heard this song since I was six years old. First it was the Soviets, then the Japanese, then the South Koreans; then there were ten minutes when it was going to be the European Union. Now, it's China and India. Pardon me for not holding my breath until that day arrives.

Last note of the day, notice how this guy equates "The West" with "The United States". Thanks for admitting you guys have sold the birthright of your civilization down the river.

2005-02-04T14:51:00.000-07:00

This is the coolest thing I have ever seen.

--Butt-head

I had a choice between catching the State of the Union Address, and surfing Maximum Awesome. So I surfed Maximum Awesome.

What? Was the State of the Union speech going to...make liberals everywhere go, "Doh! So that's what it's all about. My bad, sorry I've been wrong all this time." Was there going to be some mass enlightening I was going to miss out on? There was a Ponch action figure on the page. I had to go there. You go there now.

That is all.

2005-02-04T08:21:00.000-07:00

And this is a problem?

Ok, I fail to see what's so out of the ordinary here.

Kevin P. O'Donoghue is going to the Super Bowl. When he gets back, he'll worry about the house he mortgaged to watch his beloved Eagles.

Yeah? And? I mean, isn't everyone doing this? If I had a house, I'd be plopping some money down to go to Jacksonville. This is like the real life version of the Red Sox Mastercard Commercial, except Eagles Fan has to throw in airfare and a hotel, too.

2005-02-02T17:47:00.000-07:00

What in the hell are the Irish doing fighting with the English?

--Hamish

Ok, this is painful, but necessary.

I l-l-l..I l-l..I li..I despise Rottweiler Puppy only a microscopic amount. You should read Rottweiler Puppy, even though he hails from a barbaric, uncivilized land. I've always believed civilization spread person by person, and now there is a seed of civilized thought and reasoning in that island off the coast of Ireland, specifically below Scotland and east of Wales. Who knows, maybe it will catch on. And I feel magnanimous, we can't really let a mere accident of birth prevent us from appreciating the value of another, can we?

Who am I kidding, of /course/ we can. But in this one case I grant dispensation.

You may read Rottweiler Puppy, and not be questioned for consorting with the enemy. There will be no reprisals in the middle of the night.

That is all.

2005-02-02T01:40:00.000-07:00

All I know is that this violates every canon of respectable broadcasting.

--Nelson Chaney

CNN woke up and found this out:

when told of the exact text of the First Amendment, more than one in three high school students said it goes "too far" in the rights it guarantees. Only half of the students said newspapers should be allowed to publish freely without government approval of stories.

What did you expect, CNN? This is all your fault. It's on you, and your buddies in Network News, The New York Times, and most other bastions of traditional media. You've spent the last five eternities drumming into the population's head that government oversight is some sort of Holy Grail. Do people keep trying to "save" you by pushing you back into the ocean when sunbathing? Sue McDonald's and have the Government regulate what gets put into Big Macs. Are your fingers and teeth perfectly color-coordinated a rich shade of yellow? Go get "Big Tobacco", government! You've been all "Ralph Nader" on us for years, touting government intervention as the end-all be-all for any problem.

Now, the cracks are showing in your aura. Dan Rather is about ten seconds away from breaking out some steel ball bearings and babbling about the strawberries to anyone who will listen. Then you guys admit, "We uh...lied about what was going on all these years in Iraq, because we didn't want to lose our swell offices in Baghdad." Then you spent the entire year shilling for John Kerry. Now these kids have remembered that "government regulation is good" mantra you've been preaching.

King Diomedes, meet your horses.

2005-02-02T01:12:00.000-07:00

GO JOE!

Military Intelligence is currently reviewing this original terrorist “operation”. In order to help, The Donegal Express lends his expert opinion.

Obviously, these Islamofascists were clearly coordinating with Cobra Commander. As of this moment, I can confirm the participation of neither Destro nor Serpentor.

(Originally posted on "The Wide Awakes")

2005-02-02T01:07:00.000-07:00

Why don't you go where fashion sits? Puttin' on the Ritz!

--Taco

From last week's news:

OSWIECIM, Poland -- Fashion watchers say Vice President Dick Cheney stood out at ceremonies Thursday commemorating the lives of those who died in two Nazi concentration camps.

Where to start?

Well, let's look at the subtext of this story. It shakes out somewhat along the lines of, "Look at what Cheney is wearing! How could anyone be so vulgar and tacky at something like a memorial service at Auschwitz!"

Ok then...

You're critiquing what people are wearing at a memorial service at Auschwitz. How could anyone be so tacky and vulgar?

What, was Robin Givhan checking for Gucci tags while they were going over that whole "they butchered my children before my eyes" part? Did she get a good look at the women's shoes during the part where they discussed the cattle cars and the ovens?

Moving on, we keep hearing how the VP managed to "dress nice" for his inauguration, but wandered into Auschwitz looking ready to operate a "snow blower".

Well, what was the weather like at the ceremony? Let's take a look...

At the forum, Kwasniewski was due to decorate several former Red Army soldiers who liberated during one of eastern Europe's severest winters when temperatures fell as low as - 30 degrees Celsius (- 22 Fahrenheit).

It dropped to twenty-two degree below zero out there. Parts of my anatomy have just retreated so fast, you'd think their names were "Jacques" and "Marcel". You've got a what, nine thousand year old man who's suffered forty-eight thousand heart attacks out there at freeze-dry temperatures, and you're upset he put on a wool knit hat? Are you people for real?

Finally, Cheney wore an olive green parka, Europeans wore black.

I have no problem with this. Why? Note to Europe:

You killed millions of Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals and God-knows-who-else. Maybe you /should/ wear black. Maybe it's appropriate you show up in mourning clothes. Hear me out now, just maybe all of your complicity in massive genocide demands you show up in black every so often. Then again, maybe that's only me being whacky again.

And I'm not saying Germany, I'm saying Europe. On that continent, the only people not tossing dudes into Nazi concentration camps were:

The Swedes
The Swiss
The Pope
The Portugeese
Bulgaria
Francisco Franco

Stew over that one for a bit. That other Fascist, Franco, killed way fewer Jews than the French. Way fewer. Maybe one day, you guys will get up to his level of civility.

Do you know how the Final Solution came to France? Hitler had a meeting with Petain:

(Since Hitler spoke little French, and Petain hadn't started studying German yet, the conversation took place in English).

Hitler: Field Marshal, I demand that Vichy turn over all its Jews!

Petain: No! A thousand times no! There are some things which are too terrible for even a defeated nation to submit. We will never do this shameful thing! You will have war, Chancellor. We French will fight to the last drop of blood over this.

Hitler (startled): This...this is incredible. I had been told your people had no great love for the Jews, but if this...

Petain: Oh! Did you say, Jews? Mon Dieu, I thought you said 'shoes'! We are rather proud of our elegant wardrobes, as I am sure you know. Jews, that's different. Would you like us to turn over anyone else? We do have North Africans as well, you know.

Hitler: No no, just the Jews.

So yes, you guys wear black. We wear olive green. Why olive green? Well, that's the color of the uniform of our army, which stopped you all from butchering Jews and each other. During the beginning of the Twentieth Century, civilized Europe decided to start slaughtering each other. It's like they got off on it, or something. First there was World War I, which Europe enjoyed so much they decided to throw another, called World War II. In the middle of these two, you had Bolsheviks starving millions to death in the Ukraine. You had a Spanish Civil War. A Russian Civil War. A Russo-Finnish War. You had most of Europe raping and pillaging Africa.

Damn. How do you people have the time to criticize us? Shouldn't you be spending the next forty years in the bathroom, trying to get all that blood off your hands?

So we're going to stick with olive green. We wore that color when we occupied half your frikking continent for more than sixty years, because we couldn't trust leaving you people to your own devices.

That is all.

(Originally posted on "The Wide Awakes")

2005-01-31T01:28:00.000-07:00

Tree! Cabin! UNDERWEAR!

--Bob the Tomato

Ok, I take the kids to Albuquerque, to see some dinosaurs and whatnot at the Museum of Natural History. For my one kid, it's all about the Allosaurus. For the other, it's all about taking off at the speed of light and making four different adults shout out, "Do you have him? Do you have him? Do /you/ have him? Is he with you?"

Afterwards, we stop at Wal-Mart. That's where I saw it. I still can't get over this. Walking past the children's clothing section I notice the little girl underwear display. It's facing the main walkway.

Someone manufactures little girls panties with things written across the crotch like "hot stuff".

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

Are you freaking kidding me? Someone would buy their little pre-pubescent girl panties that say "hot stuff"? Can you order this from the freaking Abercrombie and Fitch pederast catalog? I would think they are made in Thailand, but wouldn't you just keep them over there? I mean, there must be a demand for that sort of thing in the hotbed of the sex slavery industry. A company that can make this sort of thing should be shut down for corrupting the morals of a minor.

And if you're a /parent/ who would buy this for your little girl, God help you if we ever meet. Forget about losing custody of your kids. Forget about going to jail. You should be sent to the freaking salt mines!

Do we have salt mines in this country? Do people actually mine salt? Ok, if not, then we should open some salt mines /then/ send you there.

That is all.

2005-01-30T01:53:00.000-07:00

But I figured, "What the hell, that's Jersey"

--Lt. Frank Moran

So I'm watching "Highlander" tonight and I noticed something for the first time. In the scene where Nash is reading the back cover of the "Metallurgical History of Ancient Sword Making" the cover notes that Brenda is from Scranton.

That's a very nice touch, I applaud. I leave it to my Pennsylvania readers, although the actress is originally from Trenton, NJ; look at this picture. Doesn't she look like almost every chick from Scranton?

2005-01-28T14:16:00.000-07:00

Oh Dexter, you're not doing it just to soften the blow?

--Tracy Lord

Steve Terrell, we who are about to rock salute you!

Former state Sen. Roman Maes might have lost the Democratic primary to freshman Sen. John Grubesic, D-Santa Fe, last year, but that didn't keep him away from the Roundhouse for long.

According to the Secretary of State's web site, Maes, former chairman of the Senate Corporations and Transportation Committee, is now a registered lobbyist for Microsoft, Valor Communications, St. Vincent Hospital and Santa Fe County.

Two things:

#1. Being a Republican during election time in Santa Fe is kinda like watching Survivor. If you're into that sort of thing, you'll find plenty of entertainment, at some point there's voting going on, and what you think will not change the outcome at all.

#2. Even though he's on the other side of the aisle, I feel for John Grubesic. Can you imagine how he must have felt? He goes to all the trouble to knock off an incumbent, and now he's gotta see him on a regular basis in the Senate? This is like The Philadelphia Story with Roman Maes as Cary Grant, Santa Fe County as Katharine Hepburn and John Grubesic as the guy who got the shaft in the end. And did you notice two of the big clients Maes is representing? Santa Fe County, and St. Vincent's Hospital (which is in Santa Fe). Uhh...didn't he lose that job in the election? That must be the greatest vote of confidence ever, having Santa Fe County basically say, "We don't know what the people in this county were smoking...heh ..actually it's Santa Fe, we do know what they're smoking. Anyhow, they chose John, but for our money it's Roman all the way. I can just see the conversation:

John: Roman! What are you doing here?

Roman: Oh, Santa Fe County is paying me to make sure their interests are heard in the Legislature.

John: Isn't that /my/ job? I mean, I am the State Senator from the area.

Roman: And I'm sure you're going to do a bang up job of it, too. Look, I gotta run. I'm going to be late for this luncheon Dede Feldman's hosting.

John: Lunch, what lunch? HEY....WAIT!

And to top it off, Roman's probably making more money as well.

If I was John Grubesic, oh, you'd have some great headlines:

Donegal Express to State: We're Good

Recommends Cutting off all state funding to Santa Fe County

Well Well Well...Water

Senator shows no interest in seeking Estancia Basin water

And that would be week 1. I'm vindictive like that.

2005-01-28T01:09:00.000-07:00

Houston, we have a problem.

--Jim Lovell

Yesterday was also the day of Nasa's Day of Remembrance.

Let us reflect on those who have given their lives in the US Space program. From Apollo I to the Shuttle Challenger to the Shuttle Columbia, tragedy has stalked our first faltering steps into space.. The individuals in the space program are involved in a great and noble mission. Throughout the ages, explorers have understood the risks of venturing into unknown territory. As man pushes into the frontier of space, it is certain that more tragedy will lie ahead. All the same, there are triumphs to come as well.

In the meantime, let us remember.

2005-01-27T11:51:00.000-07:00

January 27, 1945

Poland

This article is posted by a participant of the January 27, 2005, BlogBurst to remember the liberation of the Auschwitz death camp, sixty years ago, on January 27, 1945.

Sixty years ago today, the town of Oswiecim was liberated by elements of the 60th Army of the First Ukrainian Front. This ended nearly six years of occupation by the German Reich. With the liberation of Oswiecim was the capture of a chemical factory and the freeing of a number of prisoners from a local "prison camp".

Today, Oswiecim is better known by its German name.

Auschwitz.

From the town's official website:

The soldiers found 4,800 seriously ill prisoners of 18 nationalities. A part of the prisoners went out of the camp unaided after the information that the Germans had left Oswiecim. A lot of the prisoners went to the Convent of the Seraphic Sisters to find temporary help and care there. The first people who went to the former camp to help look after the men in Block 10 were 4 girls and 4 men from Oswiecim. The men in Block 10 had lived in terrible conditions. The group cleaned the rooms and the beds and brought the food. The dead ex-prisoners were taken to Block 11. The group worked during the day and during the night they were changed by the Seraphic Sisters.
It took many months for the last of these concentration-camp survivors to recuperate enough to begin the painful search for lost loved ones. The following never started:

270,000 Jews.
75,000 Poles.
23,000 Gypsies.
15,000 Soviet POWs.

Along with the victims, let us also remember those who risked much in trying to bring some comfort to those unfortunates.

A very important role in helping the prisoners was also played by the activists of the Polish Scouts (the local ones and the ones from Silesia) and the railwaymen. It should be emphasized that a lot of effort and heart was put into the help actions by the residents of Oswiecim, including women and children. Those, who took a very active part in the action, were the local clergy - the priests of the Assumption of Blessed Virgin Mary Parish in Oswiecim, the priests from the nearby villages, the Salesians and the Seraphic Sisters, who put bread under the piles of stones, in the ditches and on the walls for the prisoners working outside the camp, at the slaughterhouse in Dwory or near the convent. Apart from bread they left pork fat, butter, cheese, garlic, onion, sausages, sugar and the bottles of coffee; and for the workers of the Buna-Werke in Dwory they mainly sent bread and butter with the help of one of the civil workers. They also delivered food, medicines, vitamins and injections to the camp (by the people from Oswiecim working there). The nuns' underground work did not escape the Germans' attention. Because of this activity they carried out a lot of research in the convent in Oswiecim.

Nor should we forget the heroic example of the saint of Auschwitz, Saint Maximilian Kolbe.

Finally, let us never forget what happens when faith in the state supplants faith in God.

2005-01-26T17:13:00.000-07:00

The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.

-Abbie Hoffman

Hat tip to Bitchitude for this:

My political frame of mind is one in its own, I admit. When I see shit like THIS I have no qualms about stepping up to the plate and speaking my piece.

I am truly embarrassed and ashamed to say I ever lived in the State of Washington. I am horrified at the rampant ignorance these spoiled pukes displayed in their blatant presentation of said ignorance.

Go ahead, click the link. You know you want to look. Here's the AP caption:

Sgt. 1st Class Jeff Due, right, a U.S. Army recruiter, is surrounded by protesters at Seattle Central Community College, Thursday, Jan. 20, 2005, in Seattle. After about a 10-minute standoff during which protesters tore up U.S Army literature, the protesters were successful in getting Due and another recruiter to leave their table under escort by campus security officers. Several hundred students walked out of classes at several Seattle colleges and universities to protest the inauguration of President Bush.

Subtitle (Hat Tip to The Donegal Express):

Waaaahhhhhhh!

First thought on my mind? What are these people so /happy/ about? What, are you proud of your bravery in standing up to "the military"? Oh please, do you really think this guy couldn't have whipped all of you if he wasn't a civilized human being? Let's be honest, the only one in the entire lot that looks like he could take a punch is that big chick in the white shirt in the back left corner. She might go toe to toe for a couple minutes, maybe.

Secondly, let me break the news to you:

You're attending Seattle Central Community College! Way to go. You've obviously all made some smart life choices to get to that plateau. I can just see how that went down. "Harvard, Yale, MIT, USC, or Seattle Central Community College?" I guess U. Dub's loss is their gain.

Whenever I see junk like this, I always think WWFRD? Yes, What Would Frank Rizzo do? I'll tell you what he'd do.

First, he'd respond to the problem, and start arresting some punks. Then, when the administration would whine and complain, he'd promptly release them.

For the next five months, not one cop would respond to a call within five blocks of the college within two hours. He'd let the place slide into the Seventh level of Hell. Muggers, thugs and vandals would flock to the safe zone that would be in effect. In short, that neighborhood would look like Escape From New York. And then, when there's all sorts of wailing and nashing of teeth, he'd just say, "I thought we were fascist thugs who were oppressing your students?"

Ok, maybe Frank Rizzo wouldn't do that, maybe that's me. But it does make me think of something he /did/ do.

While Rizzo was mayor, the Pope visited in 1979. As I'm sure you all realize, this invited every nutjob left winger hater out of the woodwork. The Pope was going to give a speech in town, I can't remember at which indoor venue, and dozens of these pieces of sewage bought front row seats. Word on the street was they were going to bring some toys (more puppets and drums), and try to drown out the Pope.

What did Frank Rizzo do?

Frank Rizzo went down to the local Union Halls and got about three dozen of the boys together. We're talking huge dudes that were either Polish, Irish, or Italian, and of course, Catholic. The kind of guys Harry Truman would have remarked about, "All they do is drink, fight amongst themselves and go to Mass." Frank Rizzo then got these guys tickets in the row right behind the left-wing maggots.

Oh, there was no protest that night. Go figure.

2005-01-26T01:44:00.000-07:00

Crazy bellringer was right, there's money to be made in a place like this..

--Joe

Joe Monahan clues me in:

Late last year the phones were ringing and the buzz was on: former Bernalillo County District Attorney and now top crime adviser to Big Bill, the irascible Bob Schwartz, was off and running for a second time for the city of ABQ's top job. But now, according to deep insider sources, Schwartz will be a no-go in the October mayoral face-off after a sit-down with the Big Guy himself.

I can't blame Bob. I mean, he's Governor Richardson's Crime Czar, or something. Do you know what kind of money that gig pays? And seriously, like anyone is expecting /results/? What, someone is going to shove a microphone in his mug, "Bob, you're the Crime Policy Advisor, yet we still have crime. How can you explain your failure to end it?" I can think of harder work than drafting some five-point plan, testifying at a couple subcommittee meetings, then doing the round of local news shows.

I'm jealous, really. I want to be a Czar. I mean, I don't have to be the Czar. I could deal with being /any/ Czar. Anything at all, please, come up with a crisis for me. I could be the..the..."motorboat accident prevention" Czar. I could do this! "I'm only going to take a few minutes of your time, as I know you're very busy journalists. Next week the MAP Office will be releasing our five-point outline for combating Motorboat Accidents. As Czar, I'll be available for the next three weeks to expand on the synergy we hope to develop by sponsoring our advertising campaign with the Ad Council and Victoria's Secret. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to listen to the steel drum version of "Montego Bay" and dance like a white man who's been pounding Cuba Libre's all day. Thank you. No questions will be taken at this time.

The bigger question is, of course, is there any chance for entertainment? Ladies and gentlemen, I submit for your consideration Margaret Aragon de Chavez.

The novena begins...now. Dear Lord, please give this to me. Please, please please, I need something to make my humdrum life worth living. Please speak to Mayor Chunky's ex-wife and convince her that running would be a good idea. It would be the most perfect thing ever.

To the best of my knowledge, Albuquerque is the only city in America to have a "first lady". For the entire time she was married to the mayor, she insisted on being called "First Lady Margaret Aragon de Chavez." I'm guessing someone talked her out of "uberwoman". Please God, I need this. I've even gotten her campaign music picked out.

When it was announced that she and they mayor were divorcing, my first thought was, "Who will get custody of 'Reading Albuquerque'?"

To give non-New Mexicans and idea of the scope of this...imagine Teresa Heinz-Kerry running for office, but without the restraint and humility. Game on!

So please, just this one thing, ok? Amen.

2005-01-24T17:17:00.000-07:00

I've looked at so many women. I've seen everything, and felt nothing.

--Homer Wells

From The Rocky Mountain News

About 100 abortion foes joined Sillstrop to grieve at a Memorial Wall for the Unborn in a graveyard at the Sacred Heart of Mary Church. They carried candles and brought flowers for an estimated 5,000 fetuses who have been buried at the church since 1996.

Catholic Church officials and volunteers plan to bury the remains from another 1,000 fetuses Sunday. The burial coincides with the 32nd anniversary today of the Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion.

The fetal remains came from the Boulder Abortion Clinic. Unbeknownst to Dr. Warren Hern, director of the clinic, the Crist Mortuary of Boulder had been picking up fetal remains and delivering them to the church.

Ok, let's see if we can all follow the story. Women go to "clinic" flush their babies down the toilet. Clinic contracts "waste disposal" to local mortuary. The mortuary then gave the cremated baby remains to a local Catholic church, which gave the remains of dead babies a decent burial.

Of course, this is "controversial". Drop a crucufix in urine: "art". Bury murdered babies: "controversy".

Thus sayeth Dr. Warren Hern:

"I am appalled that the Catholic Church again has shown its willingness to exploit the private grief and pain of women seeking legal abortions in order to advance its political goals," Hern said in a written statement. "I am also appalled that the officers of Crist Mortuary, which performs important work requiring public trust . . . have publicly admitted that they have collaborated with this cynical exploitation of private grief for political purposes."

Damn. I hope that interview was conducted over the telephone, or email. Either that, or I hope the reporter had a good face shield. I almost got hit by the spittle and foam all the way out here in Santa Fe. Let's review the inanity...

Firstly, the good Doctor is upset the Church is "exploiting" the private grief and pain of women seeking legal abortions in order to advance its political goals. This sentence in and of itself is like the Comstock Lode of blather.

"the private grief and pain of women"
What, did the Church rifle through the clinic's records and mail the women involved? Did they get a "we're burying the child you aborted on X date"? And what's with this grief and pain stuff, I thought this process was a medical procedure, like removing tonsils? I mean, it's not a person, right? It's just a sack of cells, right? So what's to grieve over? Yo Doc, did you ever mention to any of these women the whole "grief and pain" thing before you started hackin' and slashin'? I mean, you did tell them this would be a traumatic event that they would carry for the rest of their lives, didn't you? Or did you just exploit their fear and confusion to make a quick buck?

"seeking legal abortions"

Well that's the whole point, isn't it? The Church believes flushing babies down toilets is...you know...wrong. I mean, that's like saying "legally owning slaves" or "beating his wife, within the limits of the law". What? Just because you can say, "Right now, it's legal" the Church should just say "Aww hell, got us there. We better just pack up two thousand years of moral teaching and beliefs. The Supreme Court made a decision in 1973."

"in order to advance its politcal goals"

Well? You people get all whiny whenever they have moral goals. We hear, "Don't go forcing your morality on us!" Now it's "political goals". So, what goals are the Church allowed to have, anyhow? Oh that's right, none. You just want it to go away. I mean, is this going to be added to the litany, "Those wackos, outside with their signs and rosaries. Can you believe they try to get women to give their children up for adoption, and bury the ones that get away? Lunatics!"

Don't those nutjobs realize? Moloch must be fed.

Then Dr. Hern gets all whiny about Crist Mortuary. It has to be the irony of all ironies that the mortuary's name is very similar to "Christ". How dare they take those ashes and...let them be buried in a Catholic cemetary! There are some perfectly good landfills in Boulder. Don't they have plants that could use some fertilizer?

If you're planning on dying in that neck of the woods, please contact these people. I thank you.

This wasn't some sort of political stunt. It's what Catholics call a Corporal Work of Mercy.

Boys and Girls, remember your ABC's.

Abortionists Be Creepy.

2005-01-24T17:11:00.000-07:00

I don't wanna put any undue pressure on you guys, but Coach Gennero's last words were, win or I'll die.

--Coach Rigg

The Eagles won. Am I happy? Ask me in two weeks, ok? Right now, it's all abou the Lombardi Trophy. Can they do it? I dunno.

Siouxie and the Banshees are singing "Kiss Them For Me".

I'm going to white man dance.

2005-01-23T14:27:00.000-07:00

You take your football down here real serious, don't you?

--Paul Crewe

14-3, Eagles. Damn, they're starting to make me believe again. Damn, 14-10. I can't take this. I really can't take this. This team just rips your heart out, year after year after freaking year. If they lose, I'm going to do so serious drinking.

If they win, woo hoo! I'm going to do some serious drinking.

2005-01-23T02:43:00.000-07:00

Inauguration Haiku

Originally Published on The Wide Awakes

George Bush wins again
Hippies pout like large babies
Like we really care

2005-01-23T02:37:00.000-07:00

Somebody get this to Bob Casey Jr, Quick!

Originally published on The Wide Awakes

State Treasurer Robert Casey Jr.
State Treasurer’s Office
Harrisburg, PA

Dear Treasurer Casey:

Can I call you Bob? Thanks!

Dear Bob:

It has come to my attention that you are considering running for the United States Senate in 2006. I am writing you this letter in the hopes you will reconsider. Let’s talk straight, from one former Pennsylvanian to another Pennsylvanian.

What are you thinking?

While I respect your ambition, I must question your timing. Rick Santorum is popular in our state, which is not as blue as the past few Presidential elections would lead people to believe. You know as well as I do Senator Santorum’s political history. He was elected to the House from a district that was sixty-eight percent registered Democrat. After the 1990 census, he was redistricted, with seventy-four percent of the voters being registered Democrats. He won again. I know, I worked on his campaigns in 1992, and his Senate bid in ‘94 when he defeated “rising star” Harris Wofford (otherwise known as “The Democrat to get the second-biggest lift to his career from John Heinz’s death"). Santorum has got money, experience and a well oiled machine at his disposal. Let’s compare what you have going for you.

Bob, I love you like a brother, but let’s be honest. You are not liked by your side. This is a bit of a step up from your father, who was hated by his own side, but still…

You were supposed to be the shoe-in for Governor, but the party let Ed Rendell challenge you in the primary. Who came to your aid? You’re sitting in the Treasurer’s office because they kept you out of the governor’s office. Now, many of these same people are whispering in your ear, trying to convince you to run for the Senate. Let’s be honest here, Bob. They hate Rick Santorum more than they dislike you. You’re a handy tool, nothing more.

Of /course/ the state Democrats will look the other way on your strong anti-flushing babies down the toilet stance. Of course they are saying nothing about your support of the Second Amendment. They want to use you to their own ends. They want to run the Casey name in front of the voters, nothing more.

Now Bob, let’s suppose you would win, which is unlikely. What would the future hold? The Democrats in the Senate would give you a chairmanship, most likely. Yeah, you’d be chair of the “fetch me a cup of coffee, decaf, with low-fat cream” Committee. Do you honestly think you will have any chance to get your agenda heard? Tell me, Bob, who will your strongest ally be: Barbara Boxer, Dianne not-so-Feinstein, or Chuckie Schumer? Remember, Zell Miller will be retiring. Do you really want to spend the next six years as Ted Kennedy’s designated driver?

After serving your term in the Senate, do you know what your reward will be?

They will be coming for you.

As soon as Rick Santorum is safely out of the way, the knives will come out. The Democrat Party will not let someone defending the unborn stay in office. Barbara ~~Heifer~~ Hafer is chomping at the bit. She was “principled” and left the Republican Party so she wouldn’t have to wait for Arlen Specter to retire. You can bet the sharks will be circling in 2012. Who will your friends be then? Who will have your back, Bob?

Bob, the Democrats worked your dad, God rest his soul. They humiliated him nationally in ‘92. Do you really want to be their lap dog? There’s a better way, Bob. We both know you want to be Governor. Your dad was a credit to the office, and I’m certain you would be no less. Why don’t you join the team, and come on over for the big win. Follow in your father’s footsteps, Bob. They were leading out of the Democrat Party.

2005-01-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

We're Noble Allies. The Coral Sea, we were with you!

--Michael Patrick "Guns" Donovan

Behind the Italians and the Poles and the Irish are the Australians. Well, maybe they're all tied up there in my book. The short form is: the Australians rock! I appreciate how the Brits have been with us in Iraq and all, but hey, so are the Aussies. They were in Vietnam with us, for cryin' out loud! Hard core.

I keep hearing about how we need to work on our relationship with France and Germany. Me? My foreign policy is not very nuanced. We should do nice things to the countries that like us, tell those who don't want to help to go screw themselves, and lay a serious beating on anyone who tries to screw with us. Now, towards the top of that list of friends is Australia. So I am going to take a moment out to salute the Australians.

You gave us Mel Gibson.

You gave us Men At Work.

You gave us ladycrackerland.

You keep trying to change your national anthem to "Waltzing Mathilda". That is the most awesome thing I have ever heard of in my life. (Note to Australia: I tried, but I could not find one site hosted in your country on the first 5 pages of Google with the lyrics. Somebody get on that.)

Most Americans do not understand the awesomeness of "Waltzing Mathilda". I do. I will explain. When you hear the Cliff's Notes version of the song, please keep in mind every few years Australians try to make this song their national anthem.

"Waltzing Mathilda" is about a hobo who steals a sheep. The police corner him, and he commits suicide rather than going to jail.

You people rock!

I propose we cut a nice chunk out of Egypt's foreign aid, and give it to Australia. Now I know, Australia, you don't want to seem like a mooch. I respect that. We can just have our ambassador meet your Prime Minister on a street corner somewhere. We'll do the handshake/palm off some money move. It's good, don't feel bad about it.

Or would you rather just let us know what you could use? I'm here for you, Australia! Drop me a line, let me know what you want. We can work something out! Once again, let me just say I love Australia. Thank you for being such a great friend. God bless you all.

2005-01-21T17:20:00.000-07:00

You see that sign up there? It says the Charlotte Banshees, not the Charlotte Juuuu-wanna!

--Coach Rivers

Let's catch up on some local news. The NAACP decided to investigate the Lobo's women's basketball team, at the request of former player Fatima Maddox. Maddox got benched for undisclosed disciplinary reasons.

Maddox asked to be released from her scholarship and went to the NAACP alleging discrimination.

Note, this story was published way back on the 4th. Read the article, then come back as I do a little analysis.

"In addition to our conversation with the student-athlete who left the team, we received four phone calls from members of the community concerned that a very talented and well-liked player appeared to be leaving unhappy," Powdrell said.

I know Albuquerque isn't a big city, but man word must have spread at the speed of light! "Ya know what, honey? I heard Fatima Maddox isn't happy at UNM. I think I'm gonna call the NAACP to get this all straightened out. I'm concerned that way."

"One of those calls came from an Anglo group of fans who said they did not feel comfortable coming forward themselves but were concerned about the atmosphere in the program. They said they noticed players on the team were treated differently and thought it should be investigated."

In New Mexico, it's passe to say "Honkey". The term is "Anglo". God, I hate that word! I am /not/ an "Anglo". I'm IRISH. We've been swapping lead with those people for centuries! My mother-in-law is French. I thought she was going to kill the last guy who called her an "Anglo".

Powdrell said Maddox harbors dreams of playing basketball professionally and did not think she could reach that goal by staying at New Mexico.

I think you're right, you should be playing someplace where basketball is more important than New Mexico. Let me know when you find that place, too. Fatima, to be totally serious here..let me help you out with something. If you want to play professionally in the future, you might want to rethink this "run to the NAACP after getting benched" tactic. Then again, maybe a pro team would love that. Maybe they'd give you a big hug and stuff after you get an investigation launched against them and whatnot. Good plan.

He said she was respectful of the coaching staff during her conversation with NAACP officials and did not appear to be driven by a grudge against Flanagan.

"The biggest issue to me at this point is that she said the discipline in the program was administered differently to Anglo and African-American players," Powdrell said.

Ok, so how does that one work? "Gee, they're really great coaches. Terrific people. They just treat us black players as second class citizens."

Ok then.

Powdrell was careful not to directly accuse Flanagan of racism but did note several other black players had transferred or were kicked off the team in the past.

"When we start looking into an issue, that's when we start to notice a pattern, and there does seem to be one here," he said.

Ok, so he's not a racist, he just has acted like one a bunch in the past? Thanks for clearing that up. Please, the local NAACP was looking for a trophy for over the fireplace.

Skip ahead three days later:

Powdrell said the NAACP never wanted to create an adversarial relationship with the school.

"The NAACP's efforts on behalf of Ms. Maddox were not intended to reflect negatively on the character or integrity of Coach Flanagan or the women's basketball team," the group said in the statement. "We recognize and respect Coach Flanagan's dedication to the program and his commitment to diversity."

Powdrell said the NAACP was mainly interested in helping Maddox get released from her scholarship and making sure black athletes had a positive experience at the school.

Must.....Save....Face! Mommy! HELP!

Coach Flanagan released her the day she asked to be. Nothing to see here folks. The NAACP decided to jump in on a college matter and make some quick political capital. It backfired, and they got smacked back...HARD.

I like the local sports guy, Bob Clark. He's from the Philadelphia area, just like me. On his show, he commented along the lines I did, but said that people shouldn't be too harsh on Fatima Maddox. After all, she's just nineteen. Haven't we all made mistakes at that age?

Yeah Bob, we have. However, those mistakes tend to run along the lines of, "I can't believe I drank that. Where did my underwear go?" NOT "Oops, I drug a major civil rights organization into my little fit, and almost ruined a good man's reputation." There's quite a bit of daylight between those two statements.

Bottom line, you do not screw around with Lobo's basketball in New Mexico. Not even if you're the NAACP.

2005-01-20T17:02:00.000-07:00

Wait, I thought Johnny Potsmoker was MY alter ego.

--Jesse

To be totally serious, totally totally serious, I'd like to give some mad props to the hippies, leftists and whack jobs of Santa Fe. Gratz!

A while back, I heard rumblings about some sort of protest the Bush Inauguration thing. Apparently, some organization sprung up, like a mushroom from a vast pile of dung, called Not One Damn Dime. They joined up with not one red cent, as well. I guess take no wooden nickels decided to go it alone. Anyhow, they decided to protest the Bush "Coronation" by urging all the good little Bundists not to spend money today.

I want to take this moment to express my utter and complete solidarity with this mission. I totally support the concept of you people not going out to eat, or shop, or in any way interact with me. Rock. On!

Today was great! The streets were quiet. The air quality improved due to the lack of incense and patchouli at the Plaza. I went to lunch without having to wait fifteen hours as you all plowed through nine plates at the Indian buffet. I ate in peace, without having your blatherings grate my ears, or seeing you chomp your food with your mouth open. I didn't have to get indigestion by having you embarrass all involved as you tried to go "native" with the owner, either. And yes, you embarrass him, me, and yourself when you do that. Can't you folks say something simple like, "Thank you, the kheer was very good today." Why do you have to act like an extra from Gunga Din?

In any event, I am /with/ you. If I could, I'd bang a drum and help make puppets. To be honest, I'd rather bang a gong, though. Way to go! Please consider doing this one day a week (at least) for the rest of the evil vicious (insert favorite hate-flavored bile here) Bush Administration.

Thanks again leftists. You made today the best day I've had in Santa Fe, EVER!

I can't wait to go to dinner tonight. That'll be solid!

2005-01-19T18:16:00.000-07:00

I have a fearful temper. You might as well know about it now instead of findin' out about it later. We Danahers are a fightin' people.

--Mary Kate Danaher

I'm going to let you all in on a little secret. This is a secret that will shock and anger many conservative friends and fellow bloggers.

I almost didn't vote for George Bush. It literally came down to me staring at my ballot, swallowing hard, holding my freaking nose, and putting my mark next to his name. It left a bad taste in my mouth.

Why? The War on Terror? The War in Iraq? The steel tariffs?

Nah, I liked all that stuff.

Bush offers St Patrick's Day welcome to Ian Paisley

Ian freaking Paisley? For St. Patrick's Day? What the...

WHAT?

Could Oliver Cromwell not get a day pass out of hell?

This guy pulls off the ultimate twofer. He insults Catholics /and/ those who like Country Music:

Line dancing is as sinful as any other type of dancing, with its sexual gestures and touching. It is an incitement to lust.

Here's another gem:

"Catholic homes caught fire because they were loaded with petrol bombs; Catholic churches were attacked and burned because they were arsenals and priests handed out sub-machine guns to parishioners; and the massive discrimination in employment and shortage of houses for Catholics were simply because they breed like "rabbits" and multiply like "vermin".

Why on earth John Kerry didn't run with this in Catholic New Mexico is beyond belief. Pictures of this clown shaking hands with Bush, then text or a sound clip of what he says to the Pope.

I'm John Kerry, I go to Communion and I approve this ad."

I would never suggest anyone do violence upon the President. I would just suggest that President Bush follow King Henry II's example.

2005-01-19T18:07:00.000-07:00

Heil myself.

--Frederick Bronski

From the AP:

two high-school students from the Paris suburbs were expelled or suspended from school for offensive behavior during a class trip to Auschwitz.The students were photographed laughing at an exhibit of Zyklon B poison gas. One student reportedly said: “They were right to burn them,” in reference to the Nazis’ extermination of the Jews.

Sweet! I'm sure those kids are on the right path. After all, they're being educated in France. Obviously, us simple-minded Americans just can't fully understand all the nuance of that statement. They'll be fine, France, so long as you can keep them away from McDonald's. Note to France:

You helped.

Not the evil Pope. Not Cowboy Americans. You.

Your grandparents most likely got quite adept at saying, "Achtung Juden!" Your parents most likely cheered when those backwards peasants in Poland, Hungary, and Czechoslovakia got what was coming to them. You most likely celebrate every time Jewish children get blown up in Israel by your heroes. And now your children laugh at Zyklon B.

Note to the Jewish community in France:

Pack.

It's coming again. It is so coming again. This time they might not have snazzy black uniforms and swastikas, but it's coming.

Oh, and PS France...

Your grandfather overcharging the Germans on the cheap wine does /not/ make him a member of the Resistance.

That is all.

2005-01-18T16:32:00.000-07:00

If He Were Alive, He'd Probably Forgive The Slander, Too

http://www.wideawakes.org

It’s one of the greatest lies of the last century. As it goes, Pope Pius XII was a silent partner in the Holocaust. He took no steps to help the Jews who were being slaughtered by the Nazi genocide.

It’s a nice fairytale, if you’re a psychotic leftist hater of the Church. As an added bonus, since most folks of that type are already living in fantasy land, all the absurdity seems perfectly normal. Yes, I know you people think it’s normal. I’m using my Energon Brain Decoder as we speak to read your thoughts. You obviously need to add another layer of aluminum to your hat.

Let me explain…no there’s too much. Let me sum up.

Rolf Hochhuth wrote a play in the ’60s called THE DEPUTY. In it, he portrays the Pope as a person who did nothing to stop the genocide around him.

That’s it. That’s the whole thing, the genesis of an outpouring of bile against a good and decent man. A play. The 1960’s version of “I saw it on the Lifetime Channel". That’s what they came up with.

There’s a really great website that lists the facts that shreds this piece of toilet paper of a charge against Pius XII. That’s a pretty good thing too, since I really don’t feel like listing all the rebuttals. I’ll just list a few here.

Golda Meir gave a stirring eulogy of Pope Pius XII, thanking him for his work in saving thousands of Jews during the war before the UN in 1958. Yeah, Golda Meir. She then went and planted a tree in Israel in his honor. But you know, what would Golda Meir know about anything? She’s not an important world figure, like Rolf Holchhurth.

The Chief Rabbi of Rome converts to Catholicism /after/ the war. His reason? He was so impressed by Pope Pius XII’s efforts to protect the Jews during the war. Then again, what would he know? He was only the head of the Jewish community in Rome during the war. It’s not like he wrote a play or anything.

Pope Pius XII used Vatican money to ransom the lives of many Jews. He directed his staff to set up numerous hideouts throughout Rome for Jews. There have been estimates of up to twenty thousand Jews being hidden inside the Vatican at one point or another. The Pope’s personal summer retreat, Castel Gandolfo, was even used to hide Jews. Unfortunately for posterity, not one wrote a play during this time.

While still a Cardinal, Pius XII wrote MIT BRENNENDER SORGE for Pope Pius XI. The encyclical specifically attacked Nazi ideology. Written in 1937 and smuggled into the country to be read in German churches, Allied bombers dropped copies of the encyclical into Germany to demoralize Catholic German soldiers. Sadly, it lacked in sufficient character development to be made into a play. Let’s read a little excerpt together, shall we?

4. If, then, the tree of peace, which we planted on German soil with the purest intention, has not brought forth the fruit, which in the interest of your people, We had fondly hoped, no one in the world who has eyes to see and ears to hear will be able to lay the blame on the Church and on her Head. The experiences of these last years have fixed responsibilities and laid bare intrigues, which from the outset only aimed at a war of extermination. In the furrows, where We tried to sow the seed of a sincere peace, other men—the “enemy” of Holy Scripture—oversowed the cockle of distrust, unrest, hatred, defamation, of a determined hostility overt or veiled, fed from many sources and wielding many tools, against Christ and His Church. They, and they alone with their accomplices, silent or vociferous, are today responsible, should the storm of religious war, instead of the rainbow of peace, blacken the German skies.

7. Take care, Venerable Brethren, that above all, faith in God, the first and irreplaceable foundation of all religion, be preserved in Germany pure and unstained. The believer in God is not he who utters the name in his speech, but he for whom this sacred word stands for a true and worthy concept of the Divinity. Whoever identifies, by pantheistic confusion, God and the universe, by either lowering God to the dimensions of the world, or raising the world to the dimensions of God, is not a believer in God. Whoever follows that so-called pre-Christian Germanic conception of substituting a dark and impersonal destiny for the personal God, denies thereby the Wisdom and Providence of God who “Reacheth from end to end mightily, and ordereth all things sweetly” (Wisdom VIII. 1). Neither is he a believer in God.

8. Whoever exalts race, or the people, or the State, or a particular form of State, or the depositories of power, or any other fundamental value of the human community—however necessary and honorable be their function in worldly things—whoever raises these notions above their standard value and divinizes them to an idolatrous level, distorts and perverts an order of the world planned and created by God; he is far from the true faith in God and from the concept of life which that faith upholds.

Uhh, Hitler tried to /kidnap/ the Pope. Obviously, he was concerned Pius would write a play.

Finally, a few years ago a “historian” by the name of John Cornwell wrote a book “exposing” Pius XII’s complicity in the Holocaust. We all remember “Hitler’s Pope", along with all the TV news specials, all the talking heads sadly shaking their heads in righteous shame at the Catholic Church. Case closed, right?

Sure, except for one little detail. The author of the book admitted he got it all wrong.

He got it so wrong, he couldn’t have been more wrong if he just went out and made up probate records. The fact of the matter is, the only people that did more in World War II than Pius XII to subvert the Nazis were the prisoners of Stalag 13. The only difference, of course, is Hogan’s Heroes is a fiction, a fantasy. Then again, that will fit in well with the worldview of those who believed what they did about Pope Pius XII.

For your penance, say 5 Hail Mary’s, 4 Our Father’s, and donate to St. Jude’s Hospital. And while the Church really doesn’t practice self-flagellation much anymore, please feel free to throw yourselves a good beating.

2005-01-17T23:22:00.000-07:00

Oh I like this one... One dog goes one way, the other dog goes the other way, and this guy's sayin', "Whadda ya want from me?'

--Tommy DeVito

I'll keep this simple, because I'm sure he'd prefer it that way. Go read Nickie Goomba. Nicky's good people, know what I'm sayin'?

He's funny.

But, I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh?

Yes, you do.

If you're not reading Nickie Goomba, you're not a good person.

2005-01-16T22:46:00.000-07:00

At my signal, unleash hell.

-- Maximus

My five year has been deeply affected by the reforms of Marius. The evolution of the Roman Army from part-time duty of the landed class to a professional standing army.

The direct effect it has in Rome: Total War is the removal of Velites, Hastati, Principes and Triarii from production. He just isn't as captivated by the Legion cohorts. I think it's because when I've explained how the Republican Army worked, he could relate to it himself. "So, I'd get big and start as a Velite. Then, if I was a good soldier I could be a Hastati." He never really makes it to Principe or Triarii. To the little guy, the Hastati is the end all, be all. Well, that or a war dog.

"You're the general, and I'm your pet war dog." So I have a pet war dog. Don't laugh, or I'll sic him on you. He's /mean/.

Rome: Total War is a good game. The folks at the Creative Assembly have a strong track record for historical strategy games starting with Shogun, and continuing with Medieval War. They are relatively painless ways to get a basic background, and develop an interest in varied eras in history. Heck, The History Channel even uses the game engine for their series "Decisive Battles". The series depicts a few battles that had a profound impact on the development of Western Civilization. One of the featured experts on the series is Victor Davis Hanson. Any time you can go from a video game to VDH, you know you're onto something good.

2005-01-15T19:29:00.000-07:00

Gentlemen, I wouldn't trust this overgrown pile of microchips any further than I can throw it.

--General Beringer

Gah! The stupid Sun Ultra 2 is flaking out, and now I've got to replace the ten thousand external drives with a nice, new D1000. That's a JBOD, so I'll have to still whack disks around if they break or need replacing. With any luck, we'll see less SCSI drive freakouts, and it will be a bit cleaner in the closet. Next time, I want an A1000. I want some hardware RAID action! At least we'll have some better mirroring, and should be able to keep the DB up while we do nightly backups. Long story short, if I promised anyone to help out with anything this weekend, well..there goes my weekend.

Speaking of JBOD's, I saw the usual JOBW's (Just a Bunch Of Weenies) yesterday at the corner of St. Francis and Cerrillos. I guess it was time for the next "Five people holding up signs for 'Peace' Day." Yo, Hippy! I bet if you wave that "Bush Lied, Kids Died" sign a little higher, he'll pull our troops out of Iraq. Yeah, that'll do it.

Note to Crayola: in your next box of crayons, you need to add the color "Aging Hippy Gray".

It's true, there is an exact shade of gray that denotes "aging hippy". Ronald Reagan never had that shade of gray. Frank Rizzo never had that shade of gray. I can spot that precise shade and say to someone, "So, you were at Woodstock, right? When you went to San Francisco, you put a flower in your hair, didn't you?" They usually answer, "Mpohmfr ttrjfiow hr" Which is "brain fried on acid" for, "Fight the power, man."

2005-01-14T01:41:00.000-07:00

But there is good news yet to hear/ and fine things to be seen/ before we go to Paradise/ by way of Kensal Green.

--Gilbert Keith Chesterton

As I was getting ready to go to bed, a thought popped into my mind. I'd remembered a story I had read years ago by a gentleman named Patrick Lally. The story dealt with a memorable Christmas Vigil Mass when he was a young boy. As the story came back to me, I decided I had to share it with whomever would stop on by, so I did a Google search.

And that's how I learned Patrick Lally died in 2002.

I never met Patrick Lally, but from what I had read of his writings, and through friends of friends, I'd come to admire and respect him. Patrick Lally was a brilliant writer, a loving husband and father, and a devoted son of Holy Mother Church. He was also an Irish storyteller of the first rank. There are few of his calibre today.

Oddly enough, the stories of his childhood did not turn up, although some other writings did. I'm going to try and contact the widow Lally, to see if she would be kind enough to share those stories again, and will post them here.

To a man I had never met, but in his own way had made a deep impression upon me:

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord; and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen.

2005-01-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think.

-- Carl Spackler

The political teen likes the "Facists" sign. I like the "No Mulligans" sign.

No Mulligans?

Wait a sec, I thought the Republicans were the ones who wore checkered pants at the golf course. No Mulligans? What was this election for, President of Bushwood Country Club? I never thought I'd say it, but someone get Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, stat! At least then we'd get some phat phunky rhymes bustin' out, yo!

I wonder how much business Starbucks lost that day.

2005-01-13T17:34:00.000-07:00

And We Liked It, Too!

This came from Life Is Like A Box of Chocolates.

We were born in the 40's,50's,60's,70's. We survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing and didn't get tested for diabetes.

After that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, knee pads, elbow pads, butt pads etc.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, bread and butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no internet or internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live in us forever.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Cheerleaders and little league had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't, had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all!

If YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!
You had the good luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers, and the government regulated our lives for our own good.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?

That's so good, except for two little things.

Shouldn't Little League be where kids learn how to play baseball? Once you get to high school or Babe Ruth ball, then you start cutting kids.

I had a Nintendo. That's why I'm IT Guy, and not Peyton Manning.

2005-01-12T17:52:00.000-07:00

We are going to lose the war because our glorious Führer has taken a sleeping pill and is not to be awakened.

-- Major General Gunther Blumentritt

Thought for the day:

Does the phrase "European Union" translate into German as:

Third time's the charm.

OR

This time, without guns.

2005-01-11T22:59:00.000-07:00

Once again, Freshman Psych rears its ugly head.

--Cher Horowitz

Ok, if one psychotherapist has the names of three other psychotherapists for his blog, does that count as multiple personality disorder?

Reading Sigmund, Carl and Alfred fills me with a morbid fascination. Is he for real? If he actually a psychotherapist? Is he really serious when he critiques other bloggers' psychological deficiencies while exhibiting psychoses out the wazoo?

I don't know. All I do know is that it's entertaining as hell, and I read early and often. So should you. Everyone in the blogosphere needs a niche, and now that Frasier's off the air SC&A has one. It's like that other great scholar, Thornton Melon, once said:

"He really cares.....about what I have no idea."

And I like the three name bit, actually. It makes me jealous. I think I'll check on the availability of larrymoeandcurly.blogspot.com . Or maybe I'll try FatherSonAndHolyGhost.blogspot.com . Or, to be obscure, eddiefrankandraoul.blogspot.com (bonus points if anyone can figure out that last one). I got it, tinkerseversandchance.blogspot.com .

Anyway, SC&A takes a few minutes to carefully smack around the stereotypical liberal and conservative. Someone once told me, the reason stereotypes exist, is that they do contain some useful information about a group, sometimes. I just substitute "leftist" or "Bircher" in place of liberal and conservative. The post flows better that way. I'll poke some holes at the conservative side of the equation. I'm sure liberals are strong enough to defend themselves, after all.

First off, *gasp* non-Christians? Hey, the Republican symbol is an elephant, not the Lamb of God. Evangelicals (of which I am not one) are unshakeable in their support for Israel. Please note they don't call it, "The Methodist State". Jewish World Review gets quite a bit of its funding from Christians. I know, I talked with Binyamin Jolkovsky about this very subject some years ago. Ask any far-right conservative to name ten Democrats they admire, and I can almost guarantee the name "Joe Lieberman" will come up. It might be the /only/ name to come up. And Bobby Jindal is a new Congressman from...Louisiana. And he's gonna be there for a long...long time.

(Ok, I don't know if Jindal is a Hindu, but still....)

And as for the flushing babies down the toilet rant. That's cool, you think people should just accept the way things are. Hey, you're free to your opinion. However, the one thing that drives me nuts is the conceit that "modern man" has reached some sort of pinnacle of uberness. The way things are are the way things are going to be. Chesterton responded to those who said, "You can't turn back the clock."

"The man who claims that it is impossible to turn back the clock, clearly knows nothing about clocks."

Yeah. Unless you live in Arizona or something, you turn back the clock once a year.

We can create our world however we wish it, only limited by the realities of human nature. We could make this planet into a giant Bedford Falls, or into the Thunderdome. Obviously, some changes would require more effort than others, and might take hold in some areas before others. A society is only the framework in which people live. That framework can and has been changed numerous times throughout history. Why couldn't it happen again?

Changing the reality of the ability to flush babies down the toilet would have a cascade effect across a wide number of variables in society. Outlawing flushing babies down the toilet would dry up the number of doctors willing to flush babies down the toilet. If not "safe" and legal, it would sure as hell be rare. Confronted with a paucity of doctors, women (and men) will be forced to rethink things like sex, marriage, and relationships. Would we start hearing about "coat hangers" again? Probably for a while, but I wouldn't go buying stock in coat hanger companies.

Children being flushed down the toilet affects all of us as a society. Case in point, Dave Thomas. Thomas was born out of wedlock in 1932 in Atlantic City, New Jersey, and a couple from Michigan adopted him when he was six months old. His biological parents did not flush him down the toilet. He was adopted. Because of that one small act, I now enjoy a Frosty from Wendy's. If his parents had made a different choice, I would never have experienced the joy that is the Frosty. What am I now missing out on from the /millions/ who did not think like Dave Thomas' biological parents? I'm lessened by it.

2005-01-11T17:03:00.000-07:00

I think we've hit a critical desalinization rate.

--Jack Hall

It's nice to remember, that no matter what happens, we're all Americans. No matter how bitter and divisive our political struggles become, we all still have a common level of decency. We're all on the same team. We can put down our bitterness and rancor and work together.

Or not.

(Tip of the hat to Michael the Archangel blog)

Man oh man. I haven't seen a deeper, scarier fever swamp since Wesley and Buttercup fought the Rodent of Unusual Size.

I haven't blogged once on the Tsunami that hit after Christmas. Honestly, what could I possibly say? What hasn't been said by every talking head, keyboard jockey and his mother on it?

But this one post, this really hit the truth. Finally, I have to come out from my deep cover.

I did it.

/I/ caused the tsunami.

My bad.

See, I had this bet with the Trilateral Commission. The bet was that Clay Aikens couldn't go all "Cool Hand Luke" and eat fifty eggs in an hour. Imagine my surprise. So, after they carried Clay out, fifty eggs and one distended stomach later, I had to make good and cause an unprecedented natural disaster. Sorry, I thought that was going to be the easiest bag of Cheetos I ever made.

2005-01-09T01:20:00.000-07:00

There isn't a real you.

--Lynne Margulies

Another one from imdb.

Troubled rocker Courtney Love is selling her New York apartment so she can start a new life in California. The former Hole frontwoman faced a string of lawsuits last year and was publicly carried out of her Crosby Street, Manhattan, home in July wearing a camisole and handcuffs, before spending time in hospital for an "unspecified gynecological condition". Love is now desperate to regain custody of her and late husband Kurt Cobain's daughter Frances Bean - who she lost custody of in late 2003 following her arrest for drug and assault charges - and is hoping a fresh start in LA will mean she can put the past few years behind her. Love has listed the 4,100 square foot loft, featuring a wood-burning fireplace, high ceilings and stunning views, with the Corcoran Group real estate company. Corcoran's Wilbur Gonzalez tells American website The Scoop, "It's one of the best buildings downtown and perfect for a movie or rock star."

That'll work. Good plan, C-Love. I mean, isn't that what anyone would do who wants to leave behind a past filled with drugs and excessive partying? Move to LA? Nothing but good can come from moving to Los Angeles to get away from wild parties with tons of drugs and alcohol. That's just the obvious move, go to LA to get away from the drug scene. Things will go well after that. What a big help that will be, getting away from that New York drug scene, leaving all that behind to live in sleepy little Los Angeles. Why didn't I think of that?

I can see that conversation with her neighbors.

"I just have to get away from all this. The temptation is constantly there. I could make a score at any time in New York, that's why I'm moving as far away as I can."

"So where are you headed? The country? The mountains?"

"Los Angeles."

"Ok. That'll be much better for you."

Of course, if that doesn't work out, she can always move to Amsterdam. Or Bangkok. Or Miami beach.

2005-01-09T01:00:00.000-07:00

It's less trouble to feel sorry for her than it is to teach her anything better.

--Anne Sullivan

I'm driving through town, and I pass the local Unitarian Church. You know those sign things churches have facing the street. The ones that have Bible verses or tell you when bingo is? Well, the Unitarian church's sign had this quote:

"It is better to walk with a friend in the darkness, than to walk alone in the light."

--Helen Keller

How would she know?

2005-01-08T22:06:00.000-07:00

It Is Good To Hate The French

--Al Bundy

I'm browsing around imdb and I find this link, complete and unaltered:

Scorsese and DiCaprio Receive Highest French Honor

GAME ON!

I have no idea what the article is about (I include the hyperlink because that's the kind of guy I am). Give me the subtitle to this article, just based on the above. Post 'em in the comments section! Some examples...

...Officially surrender to Hollywood Icons

...Allow French people to speak English to duo.

...Order waiters to refrain from spitting in their food.

...French women shave armpits in screen legends' honor.

Go with it, people.

UPDATE: The link was moved, so I removed it.

2005-01-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

It's a UNIX system! I know this!

-- Lex Murphy

I'm really not liking Best Practical's Request Tracker. It's like, the closer to getting it compiled and configured I get, the more mind-numbing the problems become. The documentation could be better, as well.

Word to the wise, if you're thinking Nagios might be a bit difficult to set up, run far away from Request Tracker. Far away. I mean, I breezed through that one. It took me a few days, sure, but those days were spent making modifications and additions to check for the right stuff on the right servers. I knew what I was doing all that time. This help desk app..well, at least it had cpan so I could automatically download dependencies for my dependencies for my dependencies. That was nice.

Oh well, I've joined the mailing list, and will be asking for help. I'm probably about fifteen minutes away from getting it running too.

2005-01-07T16:45:00.000-07:00

What happen? Someone set up us the bomb!

--Zero Wing

For the folks who may have visited today, the last few hours were not a minimalist exercise. For some reason, my template blew up, rendering my posts unreadable.

Special thanks to Cao for letting me know the site was down. She spun me right round baby, right round like a record baby, right round round round.

2005-01-07T16:01:00.000-07:00

Bring out yer dead! Bong

--The Dead Collector

Dead voted in governor's race -- King County investigating 'ghost voter' cases.

Dead people voted in King County, and there were more votes cast than registered voters.

Wait for it...

"These are not indications of fraud," said Bill Huennekens, King County's elections supervisor. "Fraud is a concerted effort to change an election."

And people voting who aren't supposed to be voting, or who vote using dead people's names, exactly what are they trying to do? Not change an election? I get it, they alternated! "This fake vote for the Republican, and this one for the Democrat." That's how it worked, right? I mean fake votes can't be an indication of fraud, right Bill?

This reminds me of that scene in Stalag 17, when the one prisoner of war gets a letter from his wife. Inside she tell him basically, "You won't believe this, but I found the most darling baby! And you won't believe it, but it has exactly my eyes and nose." And the guy's sitting there, in deep denial. "Why does she keep saying I won't believe it. I believe it......I believe it."

There's no indication of voter fraud. I believe it....I believe it.

The story contains a few quotes by people who voted for their dead wives/husbands. You know, I could see it, although I honestly can't imagine my last wish being, "Cast my ballot!" I think it would be more like, "Make sure I have clean underwear for the funeral." And the guy that gets the biggest play is the one says his wife wanted him to vote the /Republican/ ticket for her. Nice implications.

And there's this air of, "I knew it was wrong, but I was willing to do this out of a sense of love, regardless of the consequences."

Ok, cool. I respect that. Now get fined. And please, I'm not being cold. Each case like that should get hit with the minimum amount of monetary damages. If they would gladly face the consequences, give 'em some. It makes for a more romantic story.

And did anyone else enjoy all the "found" ballots coming out of King County? I wish I had some extra time, I would have set up a pool. I could have made a ton! How many ballots will be "found" on which days?

That was so predictable, it reminded me of an exchange from that chick baseball movie, the one with Tom Hanks.

"What if at a key moment in the game my, my uniform bursts open and, uh, oops., my bosoms come flying out? That, that might draw a crowd, right? "

"What if at a key moment in the election, we open a closet door and, uh, oops., a thousand ballots come flying out? That could tip an election, right?"

Honestly, there was no fraud, just astoundingly bad management and oversight. Gotcha. So Bill Huennekens is going to be recalled or dismissed right? I mean, his people were just throwing hundreds of Democrat ballots into closets and drawers to get out of counting them. Every third day we heard, "Sorry, another mistake. Here's ten trillion more votes we found." They're going to break him off Donald Trump style, with the cobra-flick and everything, right?

I believe it....I believe it.

2005-01-06T18:11:00.000-07:00

I've got plenty to be thankful for
No private car
No caviar
No carpet on my floor
Still I've got plenty to be thankful for

--Bing Crosby

Lunch time rolls around, and I figure "Hey, I'll go find a Bank of America ATM. That way, I won't have to go to that one burrito place that takes your card, but adds a dollar charge to your bill. That will make the wife happy, I'm being budget conscious! So I pull up BofA website, and find the nearest ATM.

"0.32 miles. Ok, that's not so bad. I'll get a bit of walking in. A little exercise. That's a second good thing I've done today (besides being an exceptional and productive employee). Yay me! Tomorrow, I think I'll treat myself to a nice McDonald's steak egg and (gah!) nevermind."

And away I toddle, missing a street, meandering up and down the street, until I finally find the exact spot on which the ATM sits. I stretched that .32 into a solid half mile.

And that's when I realize my ATM card is on my desk.

Nice. Just nice. So I hump it all the way back to the office, then back to the ATM. And that's when it happened, something that I always enjoy.

Some guy was collecting signatures for some leftist cause. I think he had a petition to save public school abortions for endangered species on death row from being taken over by Halliburton. (Did I miss any "activist causes" in that last sentence?)

Now the enjoyable part wasn't seeing this guy, the good part came when we made eye contact. I need to thank God more often for giving me that aura of "I will make your petition collecting hell if you even /think/ of pestering me with your neo-hippie blather". Just reading on his face, "Yeah, I'll skip him. That's not going to go anywhere." That's just good stuff.

When I was in college, I had some help with it. A friend of my father's had given me a CIA baseball cap before I left for school. I wore that puppy nearly everywhere. Right on Forbes Ave, outside The "O", the Nation of Islam used to distribute their newspaper. I'd go out of my way to walk down Forbes when they were recruiting.

"My brotha! My brotha! " *thrust newspaper at passerby* "Learn how the man is keeping you in bondage!" "My brotha! My brotha!" *eye contact* "Oh, uh, good afternoon sir."

I never understood that. If the system was so all prevalent and pervasive, how on earth do these guys think they can stand on a street corner and give away their rag?"

On warm days, I'd stand across the street for at least an hour, and talk into the lapel of my jacket. One day, I had a Pittsburgh cop come up to me, in tears of laughter, and ask me to just go home so there wouldn't be trouble.

Now, I don't need the hat. Like the kid in Animal House said, "Thank you, God."

2005-01-06T01:10:00.000-07:00

There is a big, nappy hair in my sundae.

--Morgan Spurlock

I dearly miss my true love, the McDonald's steak egg and cheese bagel. After that "Eat a Big Mac a Day" documentary, Mickey D's felt the heat, and abandoned the bagel sandwiches and the "Super Sized" option. Great. I'd treat myself to a steak egg and cheese bagel once a month. Just a nice little "yay me" thing. And some overbearing busybodies rip that small pleasure from my soul.

Thanks overbearing busybodies!

Also, I have two kids. I used to be able to roll up to the McDonald's drive thru, and order the two cheeseburger meal "supersized". I'd also ask for a glass of water.

I'd pay the girl, dump the water, and split the soda between the two kids. Then each would get one cheeseburger and half the supersized fries. Do you know how much money that saved? Now, thanks to the same overbearing busybdies, my budget is shot.

Thanks again, overbearing busybodies!

2005-01-05T20:22:00.000-07:00

The sky is blue, the grass is green. Get off your duff, and join the Marines.

-- John Wayne

For those of you who can't join the Marines but can quilt up a storm, I pass on the following from Res Publica 2005:

Here's the info: Marine Comfort Quilt Group is a not for profit ministry whose objective is to provide a memorial quilt of comfort to the next of kin of our fallen military. Our quilts are made from thirty quilt squares, each containing an inspirational message from it's donor or another serviceman. Our quilts are stitches of love from those who want so badly to bring comfort, but don't know how to help. Our Marine Comfort Quilt Group has now decided to take on a greater project. With the War on Iraq, we have lost many Marines. Our initial project was to make one quilt for each family of a fallen Marine, but we have since expanded this project to include all members of our Armed Forces that gave their life in this war. We are praying that soon these quilts will no longer be needed, but until then, we will not stop stitching until each family has been provided a small gift of comfort. Here's a link to their web site:

http://www.marinecomfortquilts.us/

Be a man. Quilt for a Marine.

2005-01-05T08:49:00.000-07:00

Sanctus Johannes Neumann, Ora Pro Nobis

Today is the feast of St. John Neumann, Redemptorist and Fourth Bishop of Philadelphia. An excellent biography of the Saint can be found here.

I've made the pilgrimage to the shrine of St. John Neumann a few times, which isn't so hard when you grow up in Philadelphia. Making the pilgrimage is, in my opinion, an heroic act of faith as the Shrine is located in a war zone. Be very careful where you park, and keep a straight line from your ride to the church.

I believe the body of the Saint at one time was located under the main altar of the church. Nowadays, it is under the altar of the lower chapel. It's painful, actually, seeing a Saint's mortal remains in one of those monstrous post-Vatican II designed chapels. Is there anything more tacky and unpleasant to the eye as abstract stained glass? Then again, at least they haven't tossed his body out of the church, like St. Vibiana in Los Angeles. Yes, yes, I know. Roger Cardinal Mahoney is going to reinter the Saint in the new cathedral. Well, has it been done yet? Why not?

In case you can't tell from the picture, the Saint was a little fellow. I'm guessing he was maybe 4'10"-5'1". He collapsed on the streets of Philadelphia, dying of a stroke. The pavement on which he expired was ripped from the street, and can be seen at the shrine.

When I was very young, I remember seeing the Saint under the glass altar and thinking he was going to pop out from under there, like in a zombie movie. Years later, I realized how silly that was. Years after that, I realized I was right all those years ago. He will pop out from under there, but not like a zombie movie. We look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come.

I still have a first class relic packed away somewhere from my last visit. A few months afterwards, we learned the wife was expecting our second child. Her doctor ran some tests (she knows all the names and numbers better than I do) and explained to her that she was most likely experiencing a miscarriage. As he explained to my wife, that what she had inside her was most likely a "mutation" or a "deformed group of cells", she started to cry. I simply asked, "So, when you say that my child has a mutation, is it possible he could turn out like Spiderman or Wolverine? Because that would be cool."

After five hours of cold silence, my wife finally asked how I could dare make a joke at a time like that. I explained to her my options were make a joke, or smash my chair over the doctor's dome. I thought option A was the smart move.

That night we started placing the relic on her stomach before bed, during prayers. This continued all through her heavy bleeding. Finally, the bleeding stopped, and at her next checkup a stunned doctor informed my wife that whatever numbers they look at had gone off the chart, showing a perfectly normal pregnancy. It was January 5, the Feast of St. John Neumann. In September, we had a boy. His name is Sean, which is the Irish variant of John. Thank you, St. John Neumann. She wouldn't go for John Neumann as his name, so I hope Sean works for you.

Good and gracious God, You called St. John Neumann to labor for the Gospel among the people of the new world. Just as his ministry strengthened many others in the Catholic faith, we ask, through his intercession, that the faith grow strong in this land. Grant this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit one God forever and ever. Amen.

2005-01-04T18:42:00.000-07:00

Look at that fat man on TV with the bomb strapped to his chest.

--Ted's Wife

Jonah Goldberg called it the most disturbing video of the year. I call it a celebration of life. You decide.

This guy /has/ to be Romanian or Eastern European, if he's from Europe. Look closely, see the joy with which he moves. He is a /big/ man, but does that inhibit him? Do you see cynicism? World weariness? No my friends. /That/ is honest exuberance, and you don't find that in "Old Europe" any more. So mock the big man if you will, but I bet God is smiling on him.

2005-01-04T13:47:00.000-07:00

Don't you guys have a website called "MoveOn"?

--Me

Just saw this snippet from the Columbus Dispatch, via A Nickel's Worth of Free Advice:

The 176 Democrats who sit on Ohio's 88 county election boards pondered their jurisdictions' results, accepted their subordinates' good work, and are turning their energies toward the future. Are they all dupes in some Machiavellian Republican scheme? Or do they simply have a firmer grasp of reality than that displayed by the two of you and a handful of unrelenting zealots still ranting in the January rain, eight weeks after the November voting?

Yo.....Hippies...SCOREBOARD!

I'll try to use small words, so you can understand. The Election ended in November. It's January. Your side lost. Now, go back to the drawing board and try again in 2008.

Go home now. Nothing to see here.

2005-01-04T01:01:00.000-07:00

The parole board got me into this halfway house called the Brewer, and a job bagging groceries at the Foodway. It's hard work, and I try to keep up, but my hands hurt most of the time.

--Brooks

Classic. She lost a decorating contest. To another group of inmates. If Martha Stewart can walk out of prison with her head held high, and her dignity intact, she is one hell of a tough woman. I mean, it's on. She's been taking shots for what, over a year now? I can't even imagine being in that situation.

2005-01-03T23:44:00.000-07:00

There ain't been no hippies around here for centuries, man.

--Corporal "Stitch" Jones

I listen to the Jungle. Heck, I even pony up for streamlink so I can catch Jim Rome at work. The show really is more than just sports, it's a pop culture festival. It's something you have to "give a week" to be able to appreciate.

Anyways, an emailer to the show wrote in about Cal getting toasted by Texas Tech "go back to the beach, hippies."

At that point, Rome takes the emailer to task, informing him:

A. Berkeley is not near a beach.

B. There haven't been hippies around there for thirty years.

It's well known that Jim wants to have as little to do with "No Cal" as possible, so I can excuse his ignorance.

No hippies in Berkeley?

My man, that's their only export. The place could be stuck in freaking amber it's so unchanged. I've been there. I've walked the streets. I've seen the hemp clothes and revolutionary bookstores. There are hippies aplenty around the Cal campus.

Oh, and they could take a nice ninety-minute drive to Santa Cruz to catch some waves. From what I remember of /that/ town, I'm sure they do.

2005-01-03T10:04:00.000-07:00

You like me! You really really like me!

--Sally Field

Kathryn Jean Lopez actually posted my email on The Corner!

It would have been nice to have the blog linked, but oh well. You have to start somewhere.

2005-01-01T23:00:00.000-07:00

That's the true meaning of Christmas, Charlie Brown.

--Linus

Scott Kurtz writes PvP online. For my money, it's the best webcomic today. For those of you who've never read it, I thoroughly recommend it.

HOWEVER

The December 22 strip was just a bit too much for me. Scott, if you ever read this, you could do better.

On the positive side, the strip's punchline supports the Catholic doctrine of the Perpetual Virginity of the Blessed Virgin Mary. So it's got that going for it.

2004-12-31T21:41:00.000-07:00

Happ-pee New Year!

--Capt. Andy

Happy New Year, y'all.

Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

As for myself?

I'm gonna rock onto.....Electric Avenue. And then I'll take it higher.

2004-12-30T23:42:00.000-07:00

I think I broke his frikkin' neck!

--Samson

D-Mac over at philadelphiawilldo.com muses on the Eagles' chances without TO. I don't, because I know the season is over. The Red Sox won /two/ World Series titles before the Eagles won a Super Bowl. Hell, the /Cubs/ will pull off a World Series crown before the Eagles will win the Super Bowl. It's over. Over.

But you have to realize, it wasn't about winning the Super Bowl. It was all about dropping forty-nine points on Dallas, /in Dallas/ on Monday Night. That was strong.

2004-12-30T17:04:00.000-07:00

For twenty-three years I've been dying to tell you what I thought of you! And now... well, being a Christian woman, I can't say it!

-- Aunt Em

So I'm about to head outside a few days ago, and who should I see but The Lollipop Guild on my front porch. Come on, you know, the freakin' Lollipop Guild! And that's how I heard the news.

"Hillary?" I asked.

"Susan Sontag." They replied, at 135 rpm.

To be honest, I'm just glad she can't write any more books or articles. Shouldn't she have spontaneously exploded after the Wall fell? Let's revisit some of her quotes from back in the day:

"The Cubans know a lot about spontaneity, gaiety, sensuality and freaking out. "

Yeah. Making your freaking 1951 Chevrolet pick-up, and your freaking tailfinned 1959 Buick into a freaking boat fits my description of spontaneously freaking out. Right on the nose with that one.

Oh, and of course she loved North Vietnam:

They genuinely care about the welfare of the hundreds of captured American pilots and give them bigger rations than the Vietnamese population gets, "because they're bigger than we are," as a Vietnamese army officer told me, "and they're used to more meat than we are."

Yeah, they were all big men, like football players, right Susie Q?

Why is it that whenever Susan Sontag got misty eyed over a society, dudes started gluing toothpicks together and started paddling?

Apparently, Miss Sontag succumbed to "the white race".

However, no matter how much I despised this woman's beliefs and writings, I hope there is mercy for her in the hereafter. We're all sinners, after all.

Eternal Rest grant unto her, O Lord, and may the Perpetual Light shine upon her.

2004-12-30T14:47:00.000-07:00

The problem with the Irish is that they'll sing at the drop of a hat, but ask them to talk and they won't

--Soames

Thought for the day. Does John Derbyshire support the "Orange Revolution" in the Ukraine because it's pro-democracy, or because they wear orange?

2004-12-30T08:49:00.000-07:00

Out Here, Fire Means Life

--Jeff Probst

The City of Santa Fe is allowing luminarios to be lit on Christmas Eve. Said luminarios can be a maximum of three feet by three feet, and the flame can extend no higher than three feet. So what we're talking about here is a cubic yard of fire! While most modern day luminarios are little lightbulbs in brown paper bags, the original version were bonfires.

I love it! They spend a year lecturing us about this whole drout business. For 11 months we've been told that striking a match anywhere in Santa Fe would most likely result in a fireball so vast it would be seen from Mars. But like clockwork, once Christmas came rolling around and there was a Spanish tradition on the horizon.."Hell, go light as many bonfires as you want. Just keep a bucket of water handy."

Don't get me wrong, in the battle between luminarios and The Match Patrol I come down firmly on the luminarios side. I'm just noting that if this were about say...cooking lutefisk, I doubt they'd make an exception to the air pollution policies. And trust me, cooking lutefisk /is/ air pollution.

All the same though, it seems that too many business use luminarios for decorations for my taste. I wish they could throw in some of the more usual Christmas lights. Maybe even a Santa Claus or (dream) a creche or two.

Why do I want to see more than just luminarios?

Because I celebrate diversity, baby. I celebrate diversity.

2004-12-29T14:58:00.000-07:00

I thrill when I drill a bicuspid / It's swell though they tell me I'm maladjusted.

-- Dr. Orrin Scrivello, DDS

So I'm driving early Christmas Eve morning because I grabbed the wrong box while Christmas shopping. While I'm driving around I'm listening to the local talk radio station which is now doing the 24 hours of Christmas Carols thing. That's when it happened. The commercial breaks consisted entirely of faithful advertisers getting the chance to wish everyone season's greetings. Half of the commercials wished people a happy Hanukkah to go with a Merry Christmas. Uhh, didn't Hanukkah end a while before Christmas Eve? I know, I know, you've got to put the two together at all times. That's just how it is nowadays.

And then, it happened. "Dr. Tom", an Albuquerque dentist, said something along the lines of "As we celebrate the birth of Christ Jesus, may His love.." I really don't remember the rest, as I almost went off the road at the point. When I regained my senses, I noticed he ended the commercial with "God Bless America".

Christ Jesus!

WHOA! Talk about going nuclear. Not Jesus, not even Jesus Christ. Christ Jesus! The only thing more powerful would have been: Jesus, the Christ. Doctor Tom, you made my holiday season, I mean, Christmas!

2004-12-14T14:57:00.000-07:00

FELIZ NAVIDAD!

-- Jose Feliciano

I used to love Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I'm still down with the Incarnation, but times have changed. For example.

Do people really have the same rocking meals and appetizers now as they did when they were kids? I can't make those cheese cubes, or get the Canada Dry Ginger Ale (the only time we'd drink it when we weren't sick) to that right degree of coldness. Try as the wife and I might, the cheese, pepperoni and cracker spread just isn't the same. And just forget the onion dip. How lame am I? I'm mourning onion dip.
Churches. Midnight Mass used to mean climbing the stairs to the upper chapel. A place with a choir loft, high ceilings, dark wood pews and a marble altar with a rail before it. Now I'm not so old as to remember the Traditional Mass from before Paul VI, but I remember candles blazing against the dark mystery of the night. I remember incense, and silence, and a shivery happy type of awe. And I remember walking home feeling solemn and innocent. Nowadays? Church looks like the waiting room of a proctologist's office. Trillion watt lightbulbs blaze away into every corner of the "worship center". Great. I know the first Christmas was in a manger, but do we have to celebrate that by making our churches into barns?
Merciful Father, please make the "Children's Mass" craze die off, never to be seen again. If I ever let a child of mine run up to the altar for any reason other than to serve Mass or say Mass, just put a freaking bullet in my head, ok? The Vigil of the Incarnation, what used to be dark, quiet, and reverent is now garish, noisy and profane. Kinda like last minute Christmas shopping at the mall. Thanks, Spirit of Vatican II.
At some point, saying "Merry Christmas" became a hate crime. I think this was around the time that "hate crimes" came to be, actually. You know it's bad when you're at a Knights of Columbus meeting, and the other Knights are saying, "Happy Holidays" to each other. Yo, guys, we're all Catholics. Break out the "C" word. I fight back in one of two ways. I'll either ask, "Thanks, but what holiday are we talking about?" (If you want, you can get all Sam Kinison on them, "Say it! SAY IT!") Plan B? I love Plan B! If you can pass for Hispanic, say "Feliz Navidad". It's all part of my theory that while the left hate religion, they have this weak spot for seeing anything said in Spanish as being in solidarity with the "oppressed" and the "other". Confront them with "Merry Christmas" in Spanish and watch the fun. It's like throwing a bucket of water on a 1950's robot. *Twitch* *twitch* pause..*twitch* *beep*. The convulsions the average secular leftist goes through trying to figure out if he should correct one of the "little people" is just so good.
There is no five. Merry Christmas, or if you prefer, Feliz Navidad.

2002-06-14T15:42:00.000-06:00

The enemy's game....is soccer.

--Captain Collins

Soccer is just not good. Yes my son plays it, but he's five, so he really doesn't undersand that it's bad yet. He's just out there running around, kicking a ball. If some of these folks would spend one tenth the effort they spend trying to cram a not good sport down America's throat, we could have some rockin' Youth Kickball Leagues.

I'm still amazed that Robert Ziegler is amazed that so many American soccer fans are liberal. Where did you think the phrase "soccer mom" came from, the sky?

I'm not a Steelers fan, but this book has an interesting section on the tension between soccer and football in the old Italian and Polish neighborhoods during the 40's and 50's.

Lost Sundays: A Season in the Life of Pittsburgh and the Steelers
by Sam Toperoff

On the other side of the fence, Jay Nordlinger knows the deal.

2002-06-02T21:29:00.000-06:00

The closer I get to death the more I realize I love me, too.

--Peanuts White

Bob Hope is now one year shy of a century. Like G. K. Chesterton, Hope was one of the few good things to come out of England since St. Thomas More. Besides being an immense talent, an icon in the industry, Bob Hope is one of the few surviving links to a Holywood long gone. The great lights are dimming, many of them are already gone. John Wayne, James Cagney, Gary Cooper, Bing Crosby, Robert Mitchum, Dorothy Lamour, Humphrey Bogart, Bette Davis, Jimmy Stewart; these were giants upon the earth. In addition, Bob Hope was indefatigable in the way he gave to his adopted home. He's remembered as much, if not more, for his USO shows as for his wealth of stage and screen performances.

Thanks for the memories, Mr. Hope.

2002-05-28T23:03:00.000-06:00

"Doggone it, C.K. Dexter Haven! Either I'm gonna sock you or you're gonna sock me."

-- Macaulay Connor

Patrick Ruffini is good people. He did some excellent work at the Philadelphia Convention, and he's been out in the city, fighting the good fight. Commenting on the Pennsylvania Primary results, he asks an interesting question. Why don't more of the old "Reagan Democrats" switch parties? As a very young former "Reagan Democrat" who has been a registered Republican for quite some time, I'd like to take a stab at answering.

Tellingly enough, he answered his own question before he even formulated it. Commenting on Ed Rendell's defeat of Bob Casey Jr. for the Democratic nomination for governor, Patrick writes:

If you look at the world through the prism of guns and abortion, it's quite easy to tell who the good guys and who the bad guys are in this dispute. However, broadening the issue base to include issues that Governors deal with on a more regular basis (like taxes, economic policy, and health care), discerning who the good guy really is becomes harder.

Loose translation: You guys have your priorities wrong. All good Republicans know we need to concentrate on the important issues, like cutting the capital gains tax, before we get to those minor issues like babies being dismembered in the womb.

Also, what elected officials "deal" with abortion anyhow? Our Federal politicians tell us it's a state issue, unless of course they're in favor of purchasing more shovels for the clinics, to replace the ones worn out from shuttling the small corpses into the incinerators. We're told that our governors and state reps don't handle this issue on a regular basis.

Who's left, the dog catcher?

When I last lived in Pennsylvania, Governor Casey seemed to be dealing with abortion regulation on quite a regular basis. Ask the Supreme Court if you doubt this.

The other part of the equation is the trend to cold-shoulder Republican candidates with the wrong type of "cross-over" appeal. If you're Christie Todd Whitman, you get to do the loyal opposition spot after a State of the Union Address. If you're Bret Schundler, you don't get a cup of coffee.

The Republicans in my old neck of the woods are very good at telling Reagan Democrats A.) Your issues aren't as burning with us. and B.) The Republican candidates that you do identify with, actually are an embarassment to us. I'm a Republican, but I mourn the younger Casey's political passing.

2002-05-15T15:53:00.000-06:00

"I am with you, Puppet Master!"

-- Andre Toulon

Economic talk bores me, like most people. At the same time, who can resist some whacky protest action?

Deroy Murdock's latest article at National Review Online looks at both. There's nothing in the world to spice up a stockholders meeting, in my opinion, like your basic environmentalist craziness. Apparently, the next skirmish will be held at the ExxonMobil stockholders meeting in Dallas.

The swarms of left-wingers will congregate at the Radical Encuentro Camp. As you can tell, these people identify with the poor and oppressed, since one of the words is in Spanish. An action packed, fun-filled extravaganza is in the offing. Browsing through the event schedule brings up the following sampling:

"Climbing" -- Sponsored by the Ruckus Society.

This isn't a matter of getting some excercise to a group that is in dire need of sunlight and fresh air. Far from it. The type of climbing to be taught is of the variety necessary to scale structures to plant large banners, scramble over fences onto private property, and other barrier evasion techniques. Consider it a course in "trespassing facilitation".

Think fast. When you hear "The Ruckus Society", do you think of an organization that should be under investigation by a.) The FBI or b.) Sherlock Holmes? However much they want to identify as identifying with the oppressed and disenfranchised, they sound like a bunch of Victorian noncomformists who take delight in reading saucy Oscar Wilde novels. They need to translate one of the words of their name into Spanish. I'm thinking, "El Sociedad de Ruckus".

"Exposing Corporate Greed" -- by David Cobb

Apparently, David is going to reveal that corporations exist to make as much money as possible for their shareholders. After that, he'll reveal that politicians want to get re-elected, commercials are produced to get people to buy things, and many sophomore males take women's studies courses to meet chicks. Parents may wish to remove their children before David reveals what bears are up to in the woods.

I can imagine David ending his presentation with "Didn't Michael Douglas teach us anything in 'Wall Street', people?"

"Women and the Zapatista Struggle" -- by Melissa, of the Monkeywrench Collective

These model T enthusiasts suffer the same problem as their ruckus loving counterparts. Colectivo Monkeywrench, at first blush, would appear to have nothing whatsoever with oil companies, corporate greed, or environmental concerns. So why the course on "Women and the Zapatista Struggle"? If I learned anything in college, it's this. The left will always include speakers on topics that are in no way related to the main thrust of the protest. This is a show of "solidarity". Like a kid doing his algebra homework, I flipped to the answer section. The radicalencuentro.org website states:

"Folks from various Tejas cities have built on the foundations of previous camps organized by REC (the Radical Education Community). Our main medium is a "camp" that includes workshops and activities which explore skills for activists and organizers to take back to their communities. A fundamental part of our work is to confront oppression and racism within "the movements" as we build both statewide and broader solidarity struggles."

Please note that this is a "solidarity" struggle, not a "Solidarity" struggle. "Solidarity" was a movement of simple Polish workers, doing their best to resist the tyrrany of communism. This "solidarity" is formed by a group of pretentious post-college students seeking to implement a lot of what those Polish workers were opposing.

Rule of thumb: "Solidarity" -- simple workers risking much to oppose communist tyrrany. "solidarity" self-involved young people who chant on cue, many of whom do so out of a fear of not having the most fashionable of worldviews.

"The People vs. ExxonMobil" -- a mock trial

You have to give credit for truth in advertising. I'm certain it will be a mock trial, with mock evidence and a mock impartial verdict.

"Festival of Resistance" -- Puppets and Banners and Drums. (Oh my!)

This ought to grab those greedy corporate types' attention. We're serious, we've brought puppets!

Puppets? What in God's name is this all about? If corporations were such corrupt and powerful entities, you'd think they'd be able to make a covert strike or something to knock out the puppet-making workshops. Could you imagine the conversation the head of the covert strike team would be having with his handlers?

"Well sir, we were able to confiscate and destroy massive volumes of banners and drums, but the underground puppet factories have thus far eluded us."

Puppets. At least we now know what happens to socially conscious Theatre Arts majors after graduation.

I bet the festival doesn't have one good dunking booth, either.

If corporations were such soulless, greedy forces of destruction, how can you explain guys like Robert A. G. Monks, a shareholder much in line with the green aspirations of those who'll be camping out? Stating that embracing a more environmentalist tone in conducting operations will rise stock prices, he and those like him commissioned a report by Claros Consulting, a firm specializing in "Socially Responsible Investing".

The head of Claros, Mark Mansley, recommends support of carbon taxes. In the report, he notes the increased costs would not cause too much of an effect on the corporate bottom line, since "the oil and gas industry is able to pass much of the cost of taxes or permits onto consumers"

That's awfully white of him. So much for the progressive left looking out for us little people; no matter how they fashion it, we're the ones to pay the bill.

Five bucks says David Cobb doesn't mention this while "exposing corporate greed".

2002-05-14T17:32:00.000-06:00

"My advice to you is to start drinking heavily."

-- "Bluto" Blutarsky

Last night was fun. At around 10pm West Coast time we had an earthquake. Unlike most of the denizens of California, I'm not going to refer to this earthquake with some quaint down-home euphemism. The people who try to seem folksy about these things out here, who sound as if they are trying to downplay the whole thing, those are the people who actually try to draw the most attention to themselves. Knock it off already. Wil Rogers is high in heaven, and Garrison Keillor is far away in Minnesota.

However, it was my first major league earthquake in the five years of living out here. Needless to say, I was pretty stoked. If all earthquakes could be 5.2 on the richter scale, and located near Gilroy (where there are no buildings taller than four stories) I'd ask God for one each week.

I'll answer the big question first.

Yes, at first I did think it was a big truck rumbling down the street. That much is true, according to the standard lines we hear about earthquakes. There were a couple things that stood out afterwards, though.

My legs felt odd, somewhat tingly in fact, after the quake. The closest I could describe the feeling as being would be like this: do you know how your legs feel when you've been roller skating for a few hours, then you take the skates off? It was a very similar sensation.

The other interesting thing was this, my mind went directly from really big truck, to earthquake. It wasn't till this morning, in fact, that I even thought about a possible terrorist attack. Realizing that terrorism never occured to me at the time, it made me wonder how people living in different areas would react first.

It's my understanding that the "Large truck....no earthquake" line of thought is common for the South Bay Area. Those of us who live in places like San Jose, Los Gatos, Morgan Hill and Gilroy are pretty familiar with earthquakes, but not as paranoid about them as say, San Franciscans. In talking with people out here, it seems most of us were prepared to give the tremor the benefit of the doubt, as it were, at first. It took a good five or six seconds for the earthquake to register.

The people who live up in the North Bay, in places like Daly City, San Francisco and Redwood City (as well as their East Bay neighbors in Oakland) are more attuned to the earthquake vibe, as opposed to the really big truck heading down the street vibe. This stands to reason since even though we will both feel the same tremors usually, the people in San Francisco are the ones who have to worry about really large buildings falling on them. I wonder if their first thoughts were "earthquake" or "terrorists". The Golden Gate bridge could be a tempting target, or so we're told.

I'm told that when an earthquake hits Los Angeles, the populations' first thought is, "The mother ship has arrived to take us all home". After five or six seconds of scanning the air, it is followed by "earthquake".

If an alien civilization ever decides to invade and enslave us, coastal California is a ready made fifth column. The eight legged, purple skinned, twelve eyed Prrrrgek'ai could take from San Francisco to San Diego and inland to Sacramento, without firing a shot.

The Prrrrgek'ai would have to be smart about it though. They couldn't just drop down a couple saucers and blast out their sound systems, "PEOPLE OF EARTH, YOU WILL BOW DOWN BEFORE OUR EMPEROR AND WORK THE MINES OF KARTEK IV AS HIS SLAVES."

Instead, they'd have to land a shuttle in Los Angeles, and ask to speak to someone from the UN. They'd declare they were concerned about our environment and the state of animal servitude on Lotar III, or as we parochially know it 'earth'. Then they'd roll out an enlightened model for our society, which would include "enhanced awareness training" for those who refused to abide by it, on some remote planet. The Prrrrgek'ai ambassador would look a lot like Jimmy Carter, for some reason. They would control the world through their puppets, who would be headquartered in Portland, Oregon and Vichy, France.

So, if you are ever abducted by aliens, and they have literature from the Sierra Club, your best bet is to open fire. If unarmed, try to rush the bridge and rip some wires out, or hit the self destruct button or something. Your sacrifice will be unknown, but of immeasurable worth.